Self-Imposed Sabbatical

PSA: These are PANTS. These are NOT.

2011-11-04T12:10:00.000-07:00

Attention Ladies & Gentleman, but particularly ladies, this is a public service announcement for you.

It has come to many people's attention that some of you are not aware of the difference between pants and well, just about anything else. Here are a few handy dandy visuals to test yourself if you're not sure about what pants are, or how to wear them.

These are pants:

These are not:

However this is a song about both of these things (TAKE NOTE: Everyone in this video is wearing PANTS.)

These are pants:

These are not:

These are pants:

These are not:

Are you starting to get it?

I know it can be confusing, but let's move on to some more advanced challenges.

Which of these ladies is wearing pants?

Did you guess one? Well you shouldn't have. NONE of these are PANTS.

Print for reference.

The more you know, the less you show.

That is all.

Revisiting the Christmas Wish List

2011-10-20T09:03:00.001-07:00

My friends are beginning to post their kids' funny and cute Christmas lists on Facebook and Twitter and it reminded me of the great pride and care I employed to craft the perfect Christmas list as a child. See Christmas was done REALLY. BIG. at my house. Birthdays were casual affairs with a couple of nice, moderately priced gifts...but Christmas? Well that was a different story. On Christmas morning there would be beautifully wrapped packages in every corner of the living room - too many for just under the tree. Each family member was assigned their own gift wrap pattern - a stroke of genius by my uber organized and "fair" mother.

I was never disappointed - I received so many wonderful, thoughtful, and fun presents over the years I don't have even one Christmas memory that isn't joyful.

This was partly due to the obvious generosity of Santa (my parents). And now that I'm an adult, I realize that is attributed to their very careful planning and saving.

And partly due to the very calculated and inclusive lists I created, very soon after the last roasted pumpkin seeds from Halloween were eaten.

The intent behind every list was to come off humble, yet be clear in your requests and also provide a variety of options for "Santa". For most items I would have an "A" (the one I wanted) paired with a "B" (a similar item at lower cost, or perhaps slightly different). This allowed Santa to select gifts based on budget and availability, it also drove home the amount of desire to have such items.

I also think I liked doing this because it built in a layer of surprise and anticipation that I probably wouldn't have had if I had just said, I want a "Preemie Girl Cabbage Patch Kid". Instead that was "A", followed by "B" which was "ANY CABBAGE PATCH KID, preemie, white, black, boy or girl" since that was a very difficult item to attain Christmas 1983.

Secondly, it was very effective to present great acts of obedience alongside the most highly coveted items. (An early lesson in presenting budgets and performance evaluations to determine project funds or raises.) For example: Made bed every day this year: Peaches 'N Cream Barbie.

Finally - our lists were never limited. By doing this our parents taught us to understand the value of things, and also to understand that as children, we sometimes needed to pace some of our dreams and build towards those loftier presents. Wish for a trip to Europe? Get a globe and a book about France. Wish for your own ballet bar and mirror? Get new dance clothes and a Center Stage Barbie that spins on her own pedestal.

I was so fortunate to have parents that truly sacrificed, scrimped, bargain shopped, and saved to give us these kind of Christmases. But even then...there are a handful of items I never got.

I have come to understand the reasoning behind why some requests were never granted, Barbie Dream House? Too expensive (or so I thought...keep reading). Snoopy Sno-Cone Machine? Too messy. Easy Bake Oven? Sister had one, why get another.

However as I flip through the pages of the Sears catalog, nostalgically dog-earring pages as I go, I realize that I can now buy myself these treasures that for whatever reason Santa didn't bring. Did they create some void of playtime fun I can now correct?

Here's my list of all time wished for, but never received toys and gifts. I will purchase some of these items (marked *) to determine if they still deserve the wistful regret I still give them. In upcoming blogs I'll report on their enjoyment and nostalgic value. After they have served their purpose, I will be donating them to little ones in need.

*Snoopy Sno-Cone Machine (How messy is it after all?)$17.99

Barbie Malibu Dream House *REVELATION* My sister and I teamed up to ask for this one...and instead got the Barbie Townhouse - which we thought was not as good, come to find out TODAY that the TOWNHOUSE is actually a lot more expensive. I guess that goofy elevator on a string was really more of a manufacturing feat than we gave it credit for - we did really enjoy that present. Today the Malibu Dream House is $129.00, the Townhouse a whopping $169.00! (Since I guess I already did get the better of the two of these...I think I'll skip buying myself the Dream House, and instead buy something for my own house.)

Power Wheels Pink Jeep. Obviously, I no longer would fit in one of these, so I believe I'll skip this one too - and put that money into some repairs on the "grown-up" Jeep I already own. I think Mom & Dad had safety in mind as much as the high price tag. Goes for $299 these days.

Trampoline - Another safety first denial (and cost + neighbor safety concerns.) That and I think my dad liked to keep the yard uncluttered to practice pitching golf balls. I live in a condo in a city and have no yard. I do still love jumping on a trampoline though.

*Easy Bake Oven - classic light bulb style - which I hear is going to be discontinued - I guess it's not safe? Still, it keeps Mommy's oven clean - so I think I'll give this one a go. This classic model retails for $24.99, the "Ultimate" retails for $49.99. I can't tell the difference, and want the old school version. I will also of course be picking out some packets of flavorless dry cake mix and pasty frosting to use - wonder if they've improved that at all?

*Barbie Head - I had a couple of these and asked for a new one every year. This was my parents lesson in taking care of things. I thought I was just perfecting doll haircuts. I would still enjoy an afternoon styling one of these. Although it doesn't come with makeup anymore, it's just all about the hair. Guess they figured that's what it was always about anyway. Now that makeup is not included, I'm disappointed. Of course that blue eyeshadow never went on all that great anyway. This retails for $34.99.

Happy List-Making Everyone and here's to a road down nostalgia lane!

mm

Stuff I Miss - Or TigerMom Free Summers

2011-08-25T14:30:00.001-07:00

It was my third request to the neighbors children and "manny" playing immediately outside of my door when I (in a very stern voice - one that sounded exactly like my mother's) opened the door and said, "Fellas, Mr.Taylor is trying to sleep, and I am trying to work. Please keep it down, I would really appreciate it."

A wave of nausea washed over me as I closed the door.

1) Who the fuck is Mr. Taylor?, and
2) Fellas?

It is becoming more and more clear that the proximity to my youth is slipping further and further behind me. I couldn't imagine hanging around inside on a beautiful day when I was the age of those boys (4 and 9 or close to that). I spent every waking minute squirting my sunbathing sister with the hose, watching ants carry things, playing ghost in the graveyard, building blanket forts, swimming, playing badminton and challenging unsuspecting neighbors to games of old-fashioned, horrifically dangerous, lawn darts.

I realize things are different now. Kids (who for sure know more than we did, but who are perhaps not any smarter) participate in different kinds of activities all throughout the summer to stimulate their minds a la Tiger Mommy protocol. Back then, you had from dawn til dusk to entertain yourself however you liked. I also didn't live in a city, I grew up in a "town", but have doubts life would have been much different. There were still creepy guys in vans, but I knew not to talk to anyone in a van - unless it was the Bookmobile driver. Anyway I started thinking about all of the things I did when I was young - and how many of them aren't around anymore. From games that we played, to snacks we loved to clothes we wore. Here's my list of things that I just can't find anywhere...and for anyone who grew up with me, it's a way to remember these things and never forget them.

Old Fashioned Dangerous Lawn Darts.
(Or, why you don't have to tell someone my age something twice. )

Bookmobile

Magic Middles Cookies

Wimzees

The Smell of this (couldn't find a picture of the old elixir style bottle though):

A favorite snack:

And all of the fun in the sun that I had with this lady:

-and no - that's not a painted on swimsuit...those are tan lines - which you could make even more obvious by placing Malibu Barbie under a lamp or leave her out in the yard while you go to the park, then the pool, then to the Bookmobile.

Somehow this kept me afloat in the deep end:

At least long enough to yell for my Mom to "watch me! watch me! watch me!".

Now I just blog.

Face the Mirror

2011-08-02T11:11:00.001-07:00

Look, it's not like I'm trying to say Jennifer Aniston isn't attractive, fit, or youthful looking, but lately I have become so annoyed at her style rut that I'm compelled to post about it.
First, I'll start with the positive!

She's holding up incredibly well. She certainly does not look 40+. Good for her. She's a natural beauty, doesn't seem to have had much work done, and maintains a really amazing figure. A+ there.

It's totally fine that's she's a perennial "single" girl. If we can accept this of George Clooney, we're being sexist if we label her an old maid. I say, hold your head up - and try dating a few "normals". (Your revolving door of B-List boyfriends stinks of Jennifer Love Hewitt.) Own your personal situation a little more - that could be incredibly advantageous for you.

Although I'm not a huge fan, I think that when JA is pushed and stretched her work is good and she really does seem pretty nice. And again, she's completely gorgeous, this is only about fashion and PR.

Okay - so about this rut.

It's a 3-parter.

Part 1 - The Hair.

Here's a selection of images over the last 10 years. Sure, it looks nice - but...come on. It's boring. And it's always hanging in her face. At 42, the coy hiding behind my side swept bangs is a little depressing. Chin up, you're a woman. Try some blunt bangs, a darker tone, a little curl every now and then. Maybe wear it up at an event? Very glamorous and more sophisticated.

Part 2 - The bridesmaid sandals.

Sure a strappy sandal can make an outfit...but so can a chunky platform, and there are other kinds of straps. These all look like Mootsies Tootsies. And that black pair? Dyeables, right? Your dresses are "bare" enough. Try at least covering your feet.

Part 3: The Nails

Sure - we all love a neutral and occasionally need to give our nails a break and rock a natural look... but mix it up occasionally - it's dated, and never red carpet appropriate.

There's such a difference between "signature look" and "rut". The finesse is how you punch it up for the red carpet, special occasions, and incorporate new trends and fresh colors. Just a few things we should all watch out for...

But - it has to be said, if this is the worst a rut can be...it's not so bad!

What are your "I will not stop wearing _________" pieces?

Mine are white tank tops, skinny jeans, platform shoes, and simple gold jewelry.

Hello Darlin' My Personal Campaign to Get Joshua Jackson to Play John Ross

2011-07-12T11:13:00.001-07:00

Here is the evidence:

A young Larry Hagman as J.R. Ewing.

Fast Forward to the "New Dallas"

Joshua Jackson as "John Ross". Do you see the resemblance??? Can JJ pull off the irresistible swagger and arrogance of a true Ewing? YES! Forget Fringe! Dallas needs Joshua more.

That is all.

10 Things I Miss About the South

2011-05-12T11:56:00.000-07:00

It's a hot one today in Chicago and I had a hankering for a cold, crisp glass of iced tea. That ended in failure:

But, it got me thinking about how my mama always has a pitcher of sweet iced tea in the fridge (and a stand by steeping on the counter) , in addition to "whatever kinda Cokes y'all want" and lemonade. And so, it got me missing home a little bit. Here's 10 reasons why.

10) Talking in lines and general camaraderie. Hey, how are you?

9) People asking "round about my family". They're fine. Daddy's back's been acting up - but he still shot a 72 at the club on Toosdee. Mama's good, has a new recipe for blueberry lemon squares. Sissy is still good, her garden looks better than the Biltmore's.

8) Upon entry to any southern home being invited to "fixyuhaplate" from a constantly tended buffet of southern delicacies such as calabash shrimp, corn muffins and cheese straws (my favorite kind is from A Southern Season).

7) Lilly Pulitzer capri pants and obnoxiously cheery and bright textiles to cover you, your family, your dog, your baby, your couch and your porch swing.

6) Enjoying the front porch and waving at neighbors from afar. (Because they live "over there" not upstairs.)

5) Complaining about the heat (not the snow/smog).

4) Acting interested and charmed when handsome fellas called Chip and Trey start debating about SEC vs. ACC football tailgates.

The Grove at Ole Miss is my favorite.

3) Wearing a sweater to the grocery store cause the Harry Peter's frozen foods aisle will freeze your daggone arms off. (Apparently in Charleston it's also a great place to pick up if you're not properly took jus' yet: read.)

2) Sitting on towels in your leather interiored convertible so you don't blister the backs of your legs.

1) All y'all other southerners.

Y'all take care now. Tell your mama hi for me.

Bullying Beyond the Playground

2011-05-11T07:46:00.000-07:00

You know that kid in elementary school that everyone picked on? The one with a weird habit of pulling on their nose or twirling their hair? The one that answered too many questions from the teacher and didn't play kickball all that well?

You know how you sort of giggled about that person and called them names and didn't want to have to sit with them at lunch or be on a team with them?

Well, that person was me. Sixth Grade. Still, one of the worst years of my life. I forgave my tormentors years ago (they were just kids after all), but I've never been able to forgive myself. And I still see traces of that insecure and scared little girl whenever I encounter today's version of bullies (at work, at concerts, wherever).

I wonder what I could have done to protect myself - what I could have worn, said, or stopped doing to make those kids stop targeting me. I wonder how I could get that co-worker to stop giving me a hard time - or that fellow cast mate. The truth, I guess, is, you can stand up for yourself - but I think you have to know a little more about your bully.

Bullies are insecure people after all - with their own problems and fears. Is the answer to ask them what's really wrong? To reach out and help them? How long could/should you simply ignore a bully (especially if they are really threatening or abusive)?

Get an Adult? But what if you your bully is an adult, and you're an adult?

The problem with bullying is you never do grow out of it - bullies are more than a part of growing up - sometimes they are grown ups. The roles may reverse (with bullies getting picked on later or "wimps" growing into bullies over time), but in any case - it's not all schoolyard scuff-ups. Bullies lurk around every cubicle, parking lot and grocery aisle. Cyber bullying is a whole new way for jerks to get a platform - and a whole new way for others to be mistreated or targeted.

In any case - I will try to stand up for myself more - but more importantly, try NOT to bully anyone myself. It's one of those things that is hardest to recognize in yourself...but an easy thing to fix. Just stop.

mm

My Failed Year as a Guitar Player

2011-05-10T11:26:00.000-07:00

I took guitar lessons for more than a year. I can now play 2 songs: Southern Cross and Jane Says. The latter I already knew how to play before the year of lessons. At the height of my guitar playing career I could play around 4 songs.

I cried when I quit (I don't like to quit anything.) But I was never practicing, and it never came easy to me. How could someone who wanted something so bad not want to do everything it took to get where they wanted to be? Laziness. And a dislike of fingertip callouses. And a lack of accountability (had I been a group either my competitive nature or my fear of being behind would have kicked in and I would have practiced at least enough to be mediocre.)

I've been considering revisiting lessons...the guitar sits on a stand at the foot on my bed staring at me, reminding me of my failure, mocking my shortcomings as a musician.

It frustrates me that music does not come naturally to me at all - I can't read sheet music, can't stay on pitch when I sing, can't hear the difference between scales, can't sustain a note for very long. But I love music, and I really am moved by it, I just wish it was easier to participate in it.

I am going to revisit the guitar...and to start I'm going to take it to be restrung (I may not play it, but I can at least respect the instrument, right?)

I'll let you know what happens after that...

mm

I've Put the Pressure On

2011-05-06T07:49:00.000-07:00

So I decided it would be fun to host a "day at the beach" for my theater company...which raises lots of issues, the one most at the forefront of my mind - is the fact that I have elected to wear swimwear in front of these people.

Now, a theater company (especialy this one www.whatispH.com) is very nearly your family. They are some of your best friends in the world, and they typically hold unconditional love and affection for you. However, I am usually fully clothed. On this day, I won't be, and hope to feel just as confident as I do in jeans and a tee shirt.

I have maintained a weight loss (40 lbs) for over a year now...but hit a wall on getting a few areas in check. I needed something to push me harder. And what could be more inspiring than a public reveal of oneself in a bikini?

So for the second summer of my life since I was maybe 14, I am not starting the season freaked out about how awful I look, square one not being too gross...but I would like to actually look good in a swimsuit this year, not just keep people from going "ew".

So over the next several weeks - follow along with me if you like - I've stepped up the work out game adding some sessions from P90X (only the ones where the girls in the sessions don't look like men), and upping my cardio and decreasing my calories.

Here's to a summer of losing the cover ups and feeling confident!

mm

Current Obsession: The Blow's "Hey Boy"

2011-05-05T14:11:00.000-07:00

So as I prowl around Pandora and other people's Facebook pages for ideas of new (to me) music (always looking - I guess I get bored fast) I occasionally bump into something I really like and can't stop listening to...until I can't stand it anymore.

Not sure why I'm so completely all or nothing about music, but when I really like a song or a band or a style, I tend to obsess and delve into it so deeply, I almost get mad about other songs trying to sneak space in my subconscious. I also listen only to what I really like, what turns me on so to speak, so I'm either way ahead of the curve or more often, horrifically, pathetically behind it.

Lately, it's this song, Hey Boy, an unassuming cut off a rather otherwise unremarkable album...however I can't stop listening to it. I work out to it. I ride the train to it. I walk around listening to it. I throw it on when I'm in the shower and in a hurry cause I know exactly how long it is (2:46).

If you're a glutton for punishment (it's catchy friends) check it out, it's on Poor Aim: Love Songs (Bonus Track). http://www.myspace.com/theblowus

Quiz Answers: Derby Horse or Indie Rock Band?

2011-05-05T07:21:00.000-07:00

Quiz Answers:

Is this a Derby Horse

or a Band?

An Horse - Band (with poor grammar)
Morning Runner (Band)
Pants on Fire (Derby Horse)
Tennis (Band)
Dialled In (Derby Horse)
Moe (Band)
Uncle Mo (Derby Horse)
Archarcharch (Derby Horse)
Electrelane (Band)
Comma to the Top (Derby Horse)
Fences (Band)
Twinspired (Derby Horse)
The Blow (Band)
Derby Kitten (Derby Horse)
Santiva (Derby Horse)

Get your juleps on! My family's recipe:

Take one ice cold julep cup and fill with 2 tbsp sugar, 1 tbsp water and 1 tbsp mint. Muddle until you get a nice paste. Fill glass with crushed ice. Chuck that in the grass somewhere in the infield and fill cup with Bourbon. Drink.

Derby Horse or Indie Rock Band?

2011-05-04T15:11:00.000-07:00

A Quiz:

Is this a Derby Horse or a Band?

An Horse
Morning Runner
Pants on Fire
Tennis
Dialled In
Moe
Uncle Mo
Archarcharch
Electrelane
Comma to the Top
Fences
Twinspired
The Blow
Derby Kitten
Santiva

Just thought this year's runners sounded like a pretty cool festival lineup.

That is all.

Reading, Writing, & Arithmatic

2011-03-30T08:21:00.000-07:00

Books have taken over my home. Solution: Kendall. Which has taken over my bank account. The ability to purchase a book in one click is genius - and dangerous.

I've recently joined my first book club, which is composed of actual published writers, an educator, a communication specialist, a media attorney...and me. (One of these things is NOT like the other things - and I'm finding my role as court jester fun and fitting.)

The Writing part of this post is this post. And my need to get back to it. I'm afraid to revisit the book I started last summer - fearing it was all just crap and not worth anyone's time including my own. Hoping I might surprise myself when I finally am brave enough to click the file open and reread.

Arithmatic - Tax season, need I say more? And expense reports. And theater company grant proposals and plans. Oddly, this is the part of my life that has been most exciting. I guess number crunching isn't so bad when it's to make dreams come true. Even though it's true "math is hard" and I'd "rather go to the mall." But the mall is online now, so at least I save on gas.

Short post. But hey look, I did it!

We're Listening.

2011-01-21T09:15:00.001-08:00

An evolution seems to be underway in my personal Twitterverse - which is composed of the 190 tweeps I have carefully selected to follow (and includes the peeps they follow and RT). It is changing from a ego-centric platform leveraged to "brand" oneself to this warm, kind, gentle, self-depricating, accountable, and conscientious world - that not only pushes messages, but also receives them. This makes me wonder, is this what listening is in 2011?

I am honestly a more aware, informed, and human person for having logged on today and reading (or "listening" to) the tweets of my "tweeps". This community is one in which I feel priviledged to be a part of (as it is "invitation only" in regards to mutual acceptance), and one in which leaders and followers co-exist in the old-fashioned and appropriate "best people rise to the top" manner.

However, I also control this universe. If I feel someone's tweets have become too self serving or perhaps have moved too far in the self-righteous direction, or are just mean-spiritied or unfunny, then I simply "unfollow" (stop listening) them. But all in all - it seems to be popular these days to be sending out messages that help, inspire, and oddly, bring us together in a more human way. Of course, hilarious pithy comments are enjoyed by all - but I am really digging that Twitter provides that and a little something more.

Facebook, although it seems to only be evolving as fast as actual people can, still helps us to listen better. Particularly to ourselves.

Facebook is the mirror reflecting the number and quality of your friends, a personal history of your hair metamorphises, a public account of your triumphs and failures, and a diary to record it all and remind us that we are all too human - and none of it really seems to matter without someone else to hear about it. It's a reflection also of the world we can't control. I mean, Facebook is made up of the people you actually do know. The ones that you chat with in the copy room, perform with on stage, wake up with in the same house, pass gravy to at the Thanksgiving table. These are the people that, like it or not, you can't "unfollow" (or stop listening to), without some unsavory consequences anyway.

But like a rudimentary tin can telephone, reception is only possible when both ends of the string are pulled tight, and an ear is open to hearing. And with more talking - albeit in the form of tweets, status updates, blogs, pings, texts....there is more listening. And that's always a good thing.

Snowball Season

2010-12-07T10:53:00.000-08:00

It started with a commercial I saw for $26/sq. ft granite.

Seems harmless enough, a great improvement at a great price. So we went for it, finally replacing our out of date counter tops with custom granite. Of course that also meant a new double sink and then why not also upgrade the faucet while we have a plumber at our disposal? Well now the cabinet pulls look really outdated. Why not replace all 29 of those guys? But look, now the doorknobs don't match. And hey - did you ever notice how much more light we'd get if we just finally went to a flat screen? But where do we put all of the DVDs and remotes and stuff that are in the gigantic entertainment center we don't want in our house but don't want to get rid of? Not in the current storage unit, it's too small and so we need to get a bigger one to hold more stuff. Now what do we have to put the new TV on? Nothing? So we need something smaller and shorter. Great found it, but it doesn't solve our storage problem. Hey did you notice this coffee table? It would look really great with that new TV stand. And look, two smaller media cabinets that can go on each side of the fireplace. Ah, the room looks great - except did you happen to notice that now the windows are more prominent these blinds have to go? And the sills need to be painted. But the same color as the kickers on the foyer steps. And did you notice that the carpet on the landing in there is dirty again? No - because I was looking at the flooring in the hallway on the way there - it's really time to upgrade. And the baseboards need to be replaced. Look at this door jam, it's coming apart from being slammed. Mostly because you were being cheap and wouldn't let me look at granite slabs so I slammed the door when I was drying my hair.

Which needs a trim...

Tick, tick, tick.

2010-11-12T08:29:00.000-08:00

I realize it's been a while, but hopefully, like old friends we can pick up where we left off - which was sometime back in late summer with me apologizing for being less available and hoping to get back to writing.

I have been writing, but in a more private way and more importantly, I've been reading, traveling, taking in shows, teaching improv, performing, writing songs for a show I've had simmering for a while, and thinking about where I am, where I want to be, and where to keep pushing and where to just accept my lot (I am having great difficulty in this area, as I am profoundly confounded when having to quit things - I get hives, nausea and insomnia when faced with quitting anything.) I see it only as failure - never as freedom the way others can.

I recently heard the song Love the One You're With and became very nearly angry with the defeatist message of the lyrics...if you can't be with the one you love...throw in the towel and pretend? My, what a lot of actors we all are? Oscars all around!

What a sad and unsatisfying way to approach life - especially in a song. Reality may require it, but in a song? Fucking fight for whatever you want. In personal terms I apply the song not necessarily (well not at the moment) to my most significant relationship with another person, but rather to the one I have with myself.

I wish I had the guts to fight this way in reality - but I certainly would put up a fight in my artistic endeavors - the one place where the world can become your oyster. Where the ending can twist. New relationships forged. Out of reach achievements awarded, and the self you'd hope to become is the self that is on display. I'd never celebrate the disappointments in my life with a song - especially one with such a preachy tone - as if it's helpful to anyone.

Lately I've been dealing with the fact that in getting older, you lose that range of potential that was once bestowed on a person simply because of time, which is fading fast and furious. There are major life altering decisions and sacrifices to make and time is the evil reason for forcing it all to climax. It means evaluating everything in life. Everyday choices. And it's exhausting. And frustrating. But tick, tick, tick goes the clock and more time passes and nothing really changes and you have to decide - or at least decide to try, and then it just gets you back to a place where you lose sight of why you're in it to begin with and simply have a goal and all the romance fades because there is no more just "being" it's all time, and responsibility, and opportunity, and keeping up with the Joneses and the tick, tick, tick only gets louder and louder.

But then, it's 10:47 and you have a project that's due, a proposal to overnight, a dishwasher to empty and the mundaneness begins to seep in, which leads to madness. Am I doomed to be disappointed because I always thought I'd be a certain way (dare I say it...special?) - or will that eventually drive me to where I've dreampt? God help me that I feel something along the lines of the latter because this is suffocating. And manifests itself uncandidly as bitterness, which I am happy to quit.

End of Summer To Dos

2010-08-20T10:36:00.001-07:00

Try to find the time to:

...see friends you haven't in a while
...take that vacation
...try that new restaurant
...have the doctor check out that mole/lump/rash
...watch an army of ants carry a beetle back to their anthill (Do they just call it a hill? Or home?)
...swim in a natural body of water before the summer is over
...eat a meal outside
...tell someone something personal about yourself
...return to something you love and haven't been able to do in a while (LIKE BLOGGING!)
...read

Will try harder to make time to write blog-readers.

New Obsession: Polyvore.com

2010-05-18T09:59:00.000-07:00

Okay - so I am a clothes horse, as noted in many earlier blogs...but I may have found a solution for how to decrease the amount of shopping I do, but increase my exposure to clothes...www.polyvore.com.

This is a site I read about in an issue of New York magazine and thought I would check it out. Oh, goodness!

I was immediately hooked.

I have already teased you with how much I like the site in my last blog - but I just felt I could really dedicate an entire entry just to this site.

I really enjoy putting outfits together for different events. It's a fun and challenging exercise. Sometimes I'll come across a pair of shoes, earrings or a bag on the site or in a magazine, and I can build an entire outfit around that. Sometimes I have actual events in my own life (video shoots, working from home, dinner with friends, show openings/closings, date night) that I'd like to come up with different outfits and accessorize for. This site saves me from standing in my closet in my underwear for an hours wondering where to start. It also helps me to see what other "basics" would be great for me to have on hand to build a variety of outfits.

Additionally, there is an entire community and thousands of sets to look at for ideas. Really, you can create anything!

The best part about the site is that it's not just tweens. The woman in the New Yorker article is a professional woman who just happens to like clothes. Of course there is a huge Twilight following here - but that is kind of everywhere, now isn't it?

Here's the link to my sets...if you like clothes, check out the site!

Find me on Polyvore

News! And Stuff...

2010-05-12T02:49:00.000-07:00

Two things - First, sorry I haven't been writing much here lately. I've been busy opening a new sketch comedy show at Second City (it's called Breast in Show, runs Saturdays at 10:30, and tickets are $15.00), spending a lot of time with my "pHamily" of pH Productions, and working hard for my clients.

Also - I have started my second book. (The first you might remember is a children's book - which is still in editing, illustration, and proposal mode.)

The new book is a novel about a Kallen, a woman in her 30's who is facing what all of us do as we age: Sagging, regret, success, and understanding.

The impetus for the book is an approaching birthday - one that will say I'm officially "in" my 30's and I am not at all looking forward to it.

Kallen is going to take care of any remaining regrets, wishes, insecurities and other adventures that I may never get to do, or even ever pursue. (Dating a younger man for instance - I'm happily married.)

She is, of course, skinnier, smarter, and more self-sufficient than me, and will hopefully help to take me to a brave new place in my own life. She is already finding her own voice and I am quickly falling in love with her and hoping publishers and potential readers will too.

Here is a tiny sneak peak:

“Kallen, we can swing this on our own. Can you imagine finally seeing the entire billable invoice in our own names?” he said.

“David, there’s a lot of stuff that we have to…” I interjected.

“Stop worrying. Hey pull over here. I’m downstairs.”

“Who are you talking to? You’re here?” I asked.

“Cab driver. Your message sounded so urgent I just told the cabby to drive me right over to your place. You don’t have any cats do you? I’m allergic.”

Why would he think I have cats? He thinks I’m old. He thinks I’m gross. I’m like his mentor. Which sounds really close to mother. Oh God. I am a first class idiot. Pathetic.

Wait. I don’t have a cat. Halleluia!

“No cat. I hate cats. Aloof bastards. Just me. Give me 5 minutes and I’ll come down. We’ll go across the street and grab a drink” I directed.

“What, I still can’t see the lair?” he asked.

Please don’t let that be a cougar reference.

“Hot women never let me upstairs during the day time” he whined.

“Oh, I’m sure some would.” I consoled.

Shit! Was that bold or cougary?

“Okay. I’ll grab us a seat. Five minutes. I’ll get you a Dirty.”

“Extra Dirty” I corrected.

He knows my drink! Well, sort of. I should probably order Rum and Diet Cokes after that one though. I won’t even be able to get earrings on tomorrow after all of that sodium.

I jam by finger on the End Call button and run to the bathroom. Oh dear gawd. One look in the mirror reminded me of just what that ten year age gap looks like.

Secondly, I have been spending a ton of time here...www.polyvore.com. It's basically paper dolls for grown women but much cooler. You can add anything you want to your "sets" including music and backgrounds. I have even created a few outfits for Kallen there.
Click here to see my collections. It's addicting!

Drop me a line and let me know what you think of the preview...and if you get hooked on Polyvore too, share your sets with me!

Thanks for reading - I really, really appreciate it, you're lovely.

Michelle

Announcement: Twitter Your Life! Get More Connected.

2010-04-07T09:48:00.000-07:00

Whoever said that technology would be the demise of human connections clearly doesn't have a Twitter account. You can find deeper understanding and strengthen human ties by embracing the multitude of electronic platforms by which to reach out, reach out and touch someone.

Yesterday I was checking Twitter when I learned of Diablo Cody's pregnancy, Jim Carrey and Jenny McCarthy's breakup, and Mo Collins' recent heartache. Now, I don't "know" these people, but I see that they are just human, like me. I somehow feel like I'm more a part of the universe simply, because I learned about these things that they obviously wanted to share - from them - not Billy Bush or TMZ.

Making me feel even more connected, I saw that I had received some new comments on a very personal blog I wrote a couple of weeks ago. Posted yesterday was a very profound and touching comment from a cousin I don't think I've ever really spent more than several hours with over the course of both of our lives.

I was completley humbled and grateful for her honesty and courage to share her story. I see that we have so much in common - and feel closer to her than I ever thought possible.

A simple blog has brought us closer together, and forged a relationship based on common interestes and feelings - some of them that we'd probably never bring up around a Thanksgiving table.

There is a whole world of people that share their lives (everything from burning their morning toast to relationship woes and medical struggles). In some cases - I wonder why (even for myself) anyone would choose to "air their dirty laundry"?

But I always find myself thinking - maybe there are others that feel the same way I do? Maybe there isn't another person brave enough to say what isn't being said? Maybe I could help?

Here's the thing - in most cases - it's not even really dirty laundry. It's just life. And "social" media is all about connecting and sharing. All you have to do is put your story out there - and you'll soon find out (sometimes in the most surprising places, like in your very own family) that there are other people with wonderful advice and wisdom to impart.

Go ahead and share. It's good for your heart, your mind, your well-being.

mm

This is the Crap You Need.

2010-03-31T08:59:00.001-07:00

So last week I told you what crap you don't need...this is the crap you do:

1) TiVo or DVR. You are an active, popular, important person with things to do right? Your busy life shouldn't keep you from seeing all of your favorite shows. Maybe you aren't busy, maybe you spend plenty of time at home, but you opted to watch Twilight (again) and will catch up on 30 Rock over the weekend.

2) A Pandora account. Create the radio channels you like and vote thumbs up or down as songs play. It's free - with short ads running about every 5 songs or so, or for a reasonable fee, Pandora One, which is ad free and has a few additional perks. There are other options than Pandora, but I think it does the best job of feeling out my mood and playing just the right songs.

3) Some polarizing figure to admire. Mine is Chris McCandless (AKA Alexander Supertramp). Yes, he may be seen by some as a suicidal idiot full of nonsense and self-importance - or maybe he just wanted to say fuck it all, I'm going outside. I read Into the Wild more than a decade ago, but didn't see the movie until recently and it rekindled my sort of romance with Chris - his courage and bravado to reject the materialistic comforts afforded to him startled me and I admired it then, as I do today. Plus, someone else's failures and successes remind you you're only human, without the carpet burn.

4) Two sounding boards: A wacky creative artist for business dilemmas and a stuffy business type for creative problems. The creative artist is not aware of traditional "solutions" and therefore automatically offers unique and out of the box ideas and opinions. Same is true of the stuffed suit - they will apply business logic and statistics to your creative problem and help you to see through the clutter to the bare bones and hopefully, the heart of the piece. In both scenarios, you will be trying something different and avoiding making the same choices over and over.

5) A signature cocktail. Face it, it's just kind of cool. Plus it helps people to know what to have on hand when you're coming over. I like Presecco (Italian sparkling wine) and sometimes Frambois Lambic (Belgian raspberry beer that is also sparkling).

6) Some piece of clothing that makes any outfit special - and instantly says any ensemble you're wearing is your own. I have a blue pashmina I wear year round and it instantly dresses up anything I'm wearing, keeps me warm, keeps food off my clothes, provides an odor guard on public transportation, and goes with everything.

7) Some cool party trick or entertaining flair. Mine is an endless capacity to connect celebrities a la Six Degrees of Kevin Bacon, and making a kick-ass ice cream bomb dessert - which I always unmold in front of an audience.
Patty Duke to Kevin Bacon:
1. Patty Duke was in The Miracle Worker with Anne Bancroft
2. Anne Bancroft was in Keeping the Faith with Edward Norton.
3. Edward Norton was in Fight Club with Brad Pitt.
4. Brad Pitt was in Sleepers with *Kevin Bacon
or Patty Duke to Kevin Bacon:
1. Patty Duke was in The Miracle Worker with Anne Bancroft
2. Anne Bancroft was in The Graduate with Dustin Hoffman
3. Dustin Hoffman and Kevin Bacon were both in Sleepers.
or Patty Duke to Kevin Bacon:
1. Patty Duke was in Prelude to a Kiss with Alec Baldwin
2. Alec Baldwin was in She's Having a Baby with Kevin Bacon.
As for the ice cream bomb, you'll just have to hope for an invite.

8) Some awful work disaster that happened in the past by which to compare every other work disaster. "This is no worse than X...and I survived that" or "this isn't nearly as bad as X, I should just move forward". Or this is way worse than X, what did I do then that might help me now?

9) A sense of humor. And forgiveness for yourself when you think something is really funny, but it is only funny to you.

10) A good pair of earbuds/headphones to drown out everyone else. You're your own best company.

Baby Proofing - Childless and Happy

2010-03-29T10:55:00.000-07:00

So a few weeks ago my mom sent me an article that ran in Self Magazine about a 30-something lady who claimed to not have the "baby" gene. The article started great and I immediately related to it fully until...it led to her undergoing multiple fertility treatments and eventual Momdom.

You could say, she lost me at stirrups.

I thought - hey, finally, an article from my point of view - refreshing! So many articles start that way but end "as I rocked my beautiful bundle of joy to sleep, I couldn't possibly imagine life without her/him and I too drifted to sleep". (EYE ROLL.)

Defeated again, I vowed to write a blog entry from the "Childless and Happy" - or at least doing just fine, thanks - point of view - just in case there happens to be even one other person out there in my shoes.

As a married person in her early 30s, there is quite a lot of pressure to have a "family". (As if my husband and I don't count as one - our own holiday celebrations, fulfilling careers and large circle of friends and extended family not withstanding.) You may have seen my response in Redbook recently regarding their article "What is the Right-Size Family". Not one childless couple was included, and so - you know me! - I wrote in and lo and behold they printed my letter.

The pressure comes from everywhere - not just friends and family. The media, complete strangers, co-workers, you name it. There is even a weird internal pressure - like later in life I'll regret it...but at the moment - and still with some time on my side (albeit it dwindling) we have put the "trying to start a family" thing on pause. But it doesn't stop people from asking and then reacting with such disdain and rudeness when we say we might not ever have kids. "Ever?" No, we don't think so. "EVER?" No, we just don't think so right now. "You will. You're just frustrated. Have you tried Dr. Such and Such? Standing up? Elevating your hips after sex?" You know random lady at the airport...it's none of your business!!!!

See, a while back we thought we'd try. And so we did. Very quickly it became obvious it was not nearly as easy to get pregnant as our junior high gym coach led us to believe. Both of us have minor "equipment" problems, and therefore, if we were to proceed, it would most likely require scientific intervention. The initial poking and prodding was enough to beg the question - perhaps this is not meant to be?

If I have to force it so much - maybe it's not in the cards. We aren't wealthy enough to try everything under the sun, plus I don't know if I'm strong enough to endure what some women gladly do for even a slim chance at a baby.

So, instead of trying, lately we've been playing around with the idea of getting use to not having any kids - and are tentatively finding that it may suit us better. As a matter of fact, a calmness and sort of comforting resignation has settled in.

It's not that we really dislike kids. We are completely surrounded by kids in our condo building - all of them adorable and fun to play with and watch grow. But.....in such close quarters we have also realized that children, even really well-behaved ones, are loud, needy, use tons of crap that would not compliment our current decor, and constantly require attention. Since I already demand these things, it doesn't seem fair to my husband to double that annoyance. Nor does it seem fair to bring a child into a home where we might...dare I say it? Resent it, even a little.

I know, that there may eventually be a different ending to this story for us - perhaps we'll adopt a few years from now, which is an amazing thing to do - and could be an even more fulfilling experience for us. However, then we'll have to go through such a rigorous process to be deemed "acceptable"parents that it too, seems like a lot to deal with.

What if we just didn't - wouldn't that be okay too? What is a family anyway?

Here is a short list of Pros and Cons that run through my head on shuffle constantly:

Pros:
When we get old they (might) take care of us.
I suppose car trips and vacations might be fun.
Baby Boden.
Christmas would be a lot more fun.
Feel like you're leaving a mark on the world.
Payback for the neighbors (just kidding!) Okay, just kidding a little. Okay, not kidding really at all. PAYBACK.
(More) grandchildren for our parents.
Funny dinner conversations, inside jokes, stories.
Finally, a use for my boobs.
More love.

Cons:
General stickiness.
Cost.
Have I mentioned that I lost nearly 40 pounds recently?
Won't have someone to teach what we know (that for a little while, thinks we're the best at it.)
No more going to St. Martin a week before Christmas.
They leave marks on everything.
I'm an actor and improviser - how would that work?
No more fancy dinners.
Having to serve macaroni and cheese with hot dogs cut up in it alongside sushi.
Stretch marks.

If you're out there - this is an open invitation to connect! What are you stories and thoughts about not having kids?

Crap You Don't Need.

2010-03-23T07:04:00.000-07:00

In honor of spring cleaning and the many tweets and Facebook statuses I've seen recently related to "cleaning out" our homes, here is my list of stupid crap (shit) you don't need:

1) iPad. Sorry Apple. Aside from the plethora of feminine hygiene jokes that come to mind, it also reminds me of a Flintstones tablet. Only that was more animated because of the live bird you would use to "write" on it. (#flashfail)

2) While we're on the subject of feminine products - who's the genius that invented pads for thongs? Who on earth combines either of these two ideas? Sexy underwear + menstruation is like mixing tequila and doing your taxes, not a good idea.

3) A fax machine. If you need to send a document to someone, scan it and email it. Faxing is stupid. This homemade video , (remake of famous Office Space scene) is awesome.

4) Briefcases that have wheels. Maybe you should look for another job that doesn't make you work so hard. Or possibly consider growing a set and carrying your bag like a grown up? Stop running over my feet with it on your suburban sprint to the Metra. (#alsolame)

5) Collections of pretty much any kind, except for priceless works of art, diamonds and/or photos, records.

6) Any camera, (moving or still) that is not digital. Soon you'll find yourself without a way to find film or developing services.

7) Press on nails for toes. Or for any nails for that matter. Just saw these at Walgreens. Weird and gross.

8) Anything for a pet that doesn't provide for it's three basic needs: eating, sleeping and not getting worms. I'm not saying pets shouldn't have toys or a comfortable place to sleep, but some dogs live better than people. This is 4+8+10.

8) Cell phones that aren't "smart".

9) Another season of American Idol (#simonistheshow)

10) Anything from Skymall.
What's the pocket for?

Spring Cleaning and Fresh Starts

2010-03-22T06:48:00.000-07:00

Just like everyone else I love spring - the first few chances to shed the heavy jackets, feel the sun shine and that undeniable "fresh" start feeling.
This year, when it came time for spring cleaning I decided to give my closet an over haul. Due to my weight loss this year I had a feeling many of my spring/summer clothes would be a bit too big for me to wear this year and lo and behold - I was right.

Didn't realize I'd be this right:

Going through the clothes, I no longer felt I needed to hold onto things that I bought at fancy stores, or in European countries (there will be some happy folks at Goodwill soon, let me tell you!), no, it was more important for me to get a "clean slate", and find some air and space to beautify and lighten up my surroundings.

Unfortunately, I wasn't able to empty out the closet that much (as you can see below - it's still pretty full.) I had hopes of revealing a cavernous empty closet in which I could quickly refill with smaller sizes. Alas, I had saved many things from when I was smaller - and thus will focus on giving them a second chance.

Living with a cluttered closet made me kind of crazy. I could never find anything - everything had to be ironed because it was so squished in there. No wonder I was stressed out all the time! Can you imagine combining the stuff from the "Goodwill" pile into my current closet? Bad, bad, bad. Cluttered, cluttered, cluttered.

And when my space is cluttered? So is my mind!

I will be trying the "if something new comes in, something else must go out" concept from now on, but it does seem kind of hard.

I plan on going back in there in a few days and rethinking each piece again. I'm sure there are still items I never wear. Unfortunately, there were several items I ended up bagging up for donation that still had tags on them! I just never got around to wearing them, and now they're too big.

Hoping I can be more careful when shopping now - it seems like I tended to buy things like "going out" shirts - which are pretty much disposable. If I could go back I wouldn't have spent so much of my income (when I was really making a large one) on such frivolous things. Now that I save, pinch pennies and work from home, I don't have as much need to shop. I have been able to replace some jeans and pants (because the others were literally falling off), and have taken to tee shirts and tank tops from Target that are both cheap and easy.

But the best part of having a nice cleaned out closet is the time it saves when you need to get ready in a hurry, and keeping the door open makes our bedroom seem larger. I was even able to use a lamp from my old office - giving it a new life and allowing it to be used again. This helped me to let go of the negative feelings I had toward that job. I really like those lamps and was sad that I hated them because they were a reminder of that time.

"Why not consignment?", you might ask - well, I just don't have that kind of free time, and after doing a little research they train those clerks to be relentless. Only top brands (forget trying to sell your Banana Republic, J. Crew or Gap stuff), and even if it's Anthropologie, London brands like Jigsaw, Whistles or designer labels, they will critique it and make you feel so bad about it that it's just better to give it away and hope that someone who really needs a break gets to find it first. I don't need the headache. And for the most part - it wouldn't really be letting go, or keeping with the "fresh" start feeling now would it?

Now onto another thing to tackle this spring: Procrastination.

Remember Me Review - Can't Shake It

2010-03-15T08:17:00.001-07:00

SPOILER ALERT! This blog may reveal more than you would like if you do plan to see this film!!!!

First - I will come clean about 2 things. 1) I am typically one who is enjoys sappy and melancholy movies 2) I have a crush on Robert Pattinson.

That said, don't discount Remember Me. It's a movie worth trying at least - and I found I was surprised by it and the story, and actually can't shake it.

It's basically a story told in three kind of clunky parts:

Part 1: Broody boy is (still) dealing with tragic suicide of his older brother. Why is broodiness considered such a cheap character trait by critics - broody people are usually bright and interesting - they understand the problems of the world and are bothered by them, not everyone lives in a hot tub time machine.

Part 2: Broody boy meets equally broody (but in its feminine state: mysterious, playful, needy) chick and quite the realistic romance ensues. This is exactly what young love looks like. Kind of messy, very emotional, forgiveness is easy.
Part 3: Broody boy comes clean to chick about something - but is not really punished for it -a fight, a smack, and then a short period apart then all is forgiven. Then, just when the first shy declarations of love are spoken, and you think everything is going well...tragedy strikes again. (You know it's coming, there are plenty of hints along the way - and I for one didn't feel manipulated by it at all. I think it's exactly the state of mind that everyone found themselves in on that particular day -and it's how you feel. Devastated. In disbelief. To see the story - nearly a decade later was refreshing, honest and drives the Title point home. You do remember.)

Somehow, even though I knew it was coming I was still shocked and sad, but my biggest take away was that this is one of the few stories you didn't hear about that day. Heroes, all the players that you would assume were there, but not the sadder, more tragic cases of the people who were not suppose to be there - wrong place, very wrong time.

And I just really dug the realistic love story. When it's new and you're just feeling the first freedom of living away from your parents (or old enough to stay away), there are a lot of choices you make that escalate a relationship quickly. Especially when you are truly in love - I personally have forgiven much worse - besides - life is more of a gray area anyway. Who cares how two people meet. In the real world we don't punish people forever for random events or not giving full disclosure, and I like that. If you really love someone - you don't walk away. We're not all able to have these "rules" for ourselves like they do in the movies that make characters so rigid and black and white. The world is not black and white. And the world also should remember things.

Also worth checking it out: the amazing young actress who plays Caroline, the troubled and talented little sister to Pattinson's Tyler. She's a scene stealer and delivered one of the most authentic and interesting performances of the entire 1:53.

I like that it doesn't have a tidy ending, tidy relationships, or tidy beautiful sets. I also like that it made me remember not just a huge and tragic event, but also other memories, like young love, family crises and why we have to forgive - but not necessarily forget. It's a go see - but controversial and definitely getting a mixed bag of reviews. Just like real life.

I Took Pictures of Myself in a Swimsuit

2010-03-04T08:29:00.000-08:00

They were not hot. And they were promptly deleted. (I would never post anything like that.)

Feeling good, losing weight and eating healthy are all wonderful - but don't turn you into Bar Whats-her-face overnight. But - is striving for that healthy?

I'm not what you'd call a "classic beauty", by Hollywood standards anyway. I don't have piercing blue eyes or thick hair. My lips are kind of thin. My skin is dry. My teeth are on the small side. I don't have high cheekbones or long eyelashes.

So...unless you're new to the blog, you know I've lost weight. (I mention it a lot - it's a form of accountability - I risk public humiliation if I regain it). I'm healthier, and so much happier. I have more confidence. But now - that the initial weight is gone - I'm frustrated because I can't seem to find satisfaction in healthy first, hot body second. I want both. And kind of the hot part more.

It's time for a reality check. Last night, as I was flipping around I landed on Jessica Simpson's interview on Oprah. For the record - I'm not a huge fan of either star, but this show was really interesting - and I have to admit I see JS in a new, more positive way.

Remember the "fat jeans"?

She's not fat, (said she's a size 4) she just chose an ugly outfit. Here's the thing, probably about 90% of women aged 16-50 working in Hollywood are size 0's, making the 4's of the world look larger. (Thankfully, in the robust Midwest of Chicago a size 4 = size 0, so at a size 8 or 10 I'm like a 4 or a 6.) But look at her. That's NOT fat. She's not a stick, but is a stick ideal?

Anyway, this was the outfit that put Ms. Simpson on the cover of every magazine from here to Timbuktu and pretty much changed her life and made her stronger. She was inspired to travel the world (entourage of BFF hair dude and BFF assistant in tow) and learn about beauty on a global scale. In France, the group met with an anorexic former model who was so delicate and sick it was shocking and absolutely heart-breaking. I was impressed that Jessica signed herself up for this. Her honesty and reaction to the situation was refreshing and authentic...overshadowing my previous take on her - a blonde bimbo who doesn't understand Chicken of the Sea.

So I was actually inspired to try to step back from aiming for perfection and try to find the things I do like - and work on focusing on them more.

And really - it all comes down to how you present yourself.

Things my mom taught me that help you look better no matter your size:
Just because it zips, doesn't mean it looks good.
Just because the color is pretty doesn't mean the cut is.
Just because dressing younger makes you feel younger doesn't mean it makes you look younger.
Just because you fit into clothes at Forever 21 doesn't mean you should shop there.
Never wear a wind suit. Ever.
Pastel colored suits are rarely a do...proceed with caution.
A little lipstick helps. Make that a new lipstick.
Just because it's the grocery store doesn't mean you shouldn't put on actual shoes, pants, bra.
Well-fitting undergarments are the foundation for success.
Red-heads go gray last, but when they do - they should either dye it, or move away for a year.
It's important to care what you look like, and important to "let go" of what you can't control.
(Thanks Mom)

Humans Weaker Than Ever. Survival? Not Likely.

2010-03-03T08:03:00.000-08:00

Earthquakes.
Tsunamis.
Animal attacks.
Wars.
H1N1.
Autism Explosion.
Peanut Allergies.
Pete Townsend's tinnitus.
Jay Leno's return to late night.
Pam Anderson on DWTS.

It's the end of the world as we know it and I feel....like running away on an endless road trip with a carton of cigarettes, a case of Diet Mountain Dew and the Time Life Singers and Songwriters Collection.

I am nostalgic for simpler times, when we weren't all a bunch of pandered to pansies.
Like before there was a drug for absolutely every possible human function or disfunction - with a list of side effects far worse than "bloating, gassiness".

When a kid could bring some innocent (and delicious) peanut butter cookies with the fork grooves into his 3rd grade class for his birthday.

When earthquakes seemed far away, and therefore insignificant. Harder to ignore when they actually shift the earth's axis and shorten our days. Harder still when images of shattered lives invade every media orifice in our paths. Donate here for Haiti, here for Chile.

Tsunamis are no longer a surfers' paradise, they swallow entire towns and villages (or make for an interesting news day).

1 in 110 kids (1 in 70 for boys) is now considered autistic (whatever happened to "silly", "chatterbox", "shy", just plain "weird"? Are ALL of these diagnoses correct? If they are, then what the %$#@ is in the water? Is Jenny McCarthy right? Is it immunizations? Or just generations of incompetent teachers and counselors unable to identify autism?) Please throw $ and actual research at this problem, not just opinions.

Flu is no longer a week of feeling like crap, it's a Pandemic.

Wars in every corner of the world are either in progress, in recovery, in rehab, in denial.

Captive animals - possibly in response to earthquake vibrations they most likely sensed, even in the distance from Florida to Chile - killing the very people who dedicated their lives to them. Worse? Cokie Roberts on Meet the Press equating the attack, likely provoked by the happy bounce of the trainer's ponytail, to the rape of a woman "who was asking for it because she wore a short skirt." For the record, I don't think the "Killer" Whale deserves that comparison. Cokie, please don't paint this animal a villain when it is being forced to live in a completely unnatural habitat and made to dance for its dinner. Homework: Watch The Accused. Then Free Willy. Repeat.

So 2012 is the big year boys and girls, and evidence is piling up that there may in fact be some truth to an end of days.

So do we choose to continue to be fat, over-medicated, over-worked, over-wrought, over-communicative, hyper-sensitive, omni-allergic, dumbasses for the remainder of our days? Or can we toughen up a bit. Armegeddon certainly won't be easy on most of us...should we try to do things like we use to? A little less whining and a whole lot of sucking it up?

My mom use to say, if you're that sick, could you please die outside? One certain truth is that there will be an end of days for each of us.

Maybe that is where I'll be when the Earth tips off the mark. Outside, in my car, sun on my face, wind whipping through my hair, cruising down the PCH, smoking*, chugging the Diet** Dew and singing my head off to AM Gold. That's kinda tough.

*Mom - if it's the end of the world, I might smoke. **Still more afraid of gaining back that 30 lbs than dying.

Time Managment Venn Diagram

2010-03-02T06:50:00.001-08:00

Venn diagrams or set diagrams are diagrams that show all hypothetically possible logical relations between a finite collection of sets (groups of things). Venn diagrams were conceived around 1880 by John Venn. They are used to teach elementary set theory, as well as illustrate simple set relationships in probability, logic, statistics, linguistics and computer science.

Normal Person:
Just the right balance of work (A), personal life (B) and hobbies (C).

Michelle + 5 Clients + Writing a New Sketch Show + Grant Writing + Working Out + Rehearsal + Another Rehearsal + Husband + Pet:

Kind of looks like a lotus. Or a Turkey.

Who Are We to Judge?

2010-02-24T12:45:00.001-08:00

A Healthy Dose of Criticism is a Good Thing

Recently Patti LaBelle (known for her malleable hair), was in the news for stating that "some" people don't have the qualifications required to judge the contestants on American Idol.

She doesn't name names (fair enough). She also thinks many of the comments are too mean.

Now Patti isn't the only person saying stuff like this - I just couldn't resist the opportunity to remind everyone that the woman could rock her hair like a peacock, (that's what a "New Attitude" will do). Comments like this are funny to me for a few reasons. Lots of people have said that AI is "too mean" and that some judges, Ellen DeGeneres, in particular, doesn't have the cred to sit in judgement. But think about it. Consumers of downloads, CDs, etc., are for the most part "non-musicians". Doesn't that earn us a place at the table? We're going to end up being the judge anyway (AI is a contest and the general public is asked to vote, regardless of musical training or knowledge). We'll also eventually "vote" with our wallets.
And the claim that these judges say mean things pales in comparison to the painful realities of actual show business. One of the most valuable things a performer can receive (sometimes even more valuable than the opportunity itself) is ADVICE. AI is a lesson in how to handle this - and how to move forward.

At the age of 8 I was dancing with the Tennessee Ballet Company and believe me, even at that age, the real world doesn't pad criticism with any niceties. My German teacher explained to me after a particularly aggressive lashing regarding my turn out and posture (hot tears rolling down my cheeks) that I was lucky. The rest of the class was simply not even good enough to waste her time critiquing. That incident at such an early age prepared me (though, not always - sometimes it is chemistry) for dealing with criticism and direction. Personally, I judge the contestants on how well they receive and apply the valuable criticism they receive.

There are simple facts. Some people "have it", and some people don't. Doesn't matter how badly they "want it", they got to "have it" first. If we spoon feed all of the "have-nots" we'd have even more crap on the radio to listen to, and a lot fewer people waiting tables at restaurants. I wish they were even harsher. These people are performing live on television 2-3 nights a week, we should be asking ourselves are they worth it?

Shut It Spoil Sports!

2010-02-24T07:43:00.000-08:00

Good grief. Is anyone else getting sick of Evgeni Plushenko? How about Katherine Heigl? What about the Canadian fans that were so rude they made a Danish curler cry?

Do any of these people, wait, scratch that, these people CLEARLY DON'T know how good they have it.

First up Plushenko. You are a very sore loser. You lost, now take some deep breaths and return to retirement. Did you watch your performance yet? Your jumps, although impressive attempts, were not landed perfectly and that, my commrade, is what it takes to win gold. You get points for difficulty, but you don't win when you aren't the best sweetie.
Your choreography was choppy, and frankly, you looked ridiculous. It reminded me of the awkward rock and roll routines of Viktor Petrenko - only without with the charm - and he lands his jumps. Please shut up and go away. I'm sure someone would be happy to buy your silver medal off eBay if you don't want to keep it, spoil sport.
Do you want to get some McDonalds?

Dearest Katherine. If Grey's Anatomy is such a crappy place to work, do yourself a favor and quit. Stop pussy-footing around it. Just quit. The "she might quit" rumors are tiresome, and nobody is watching anymore anyway! But as long as the show still airs, there are millions of actresses chomping at the bit for a chance (including me). Go do your horrible anti-feminist movies (so IRONIC Katherine, after your very public criticism of Knocked Up - the very vehicle that put you on the map).
No one likes it when a work colleague (try thinking of it that way sweetheart) takes time off to bond with baby (3 months), comes back to film a handful of episodes and then plans to leave again to film a movie. Then on top of everything you WILL NOT SHUT UP ABOUT THE HOURS. Last time I checked, a paycheck that looks like yours requires a lot beyond the typical 9-5.
Now, if you're so tired, go lay down and take a nap.

Hey Canadians - I didn't forget about you! I get it. You're super excited, eh, about curling and just being the Olympic host, eh? I get it. However - try educating yourself on proper spectator behavior for sports that may be new to you. I'd hate to see the wrath you'd get on a golf course with this type of rambunctious display. That said, I'm cutting you a break. After all, you did come up with "Eh, oh, Canada!" Which is just funny.
Sore-ee uh-boat -that Canada.

Plus - your Country has the most sportsmanlike and poised athlete at the Olympics.

In this Olympic season, can we all try to remember what we do have - and try to show some grace and poise under pressure. Case in point: Joannie Rochette. Her mom just died, and yet she only became more focused, more grateful for the opportunity, more appreciative of her fans and the gift she has. I bet you'd never hear her complaining about outcomes, hours or even raising her voice. If gold medals could be awarded for grace, Joannie would be at the top of the podium.

MM

Sun, sun, su-uuuhhh-un...Song Sell-Outs

2010-02-23T07:34:00.000-08:00

TODAY'S DJ

Lately, as I listen to Pandora, reels of commercials get played inside my head alongside the music. Is there a song left that isn't shecking Toyota Prius, Wheat Thins, iAnything?

Remember when it was considered a faux pas to lend your artisitic creations to the "man"? It seems that there isn't a song on today that doesn't have an accompanying marketing message strolling through the sub-conscience of my mind.

Here is a list of songs playing this hour on Pandora and their accompanying ads:

5 Years Time (Noah and the Whale): Saturn Vue, SunChips, Ford Focus, Cheerios...
Somewhere Only We Know (Keane): Victoria's Secret; Many TV promos and Movie montages
Point of View (Ivy): Not this song, but practically every song off Apartment Life has been used.
Here's Where the Story Ends (The Sundays): Not this one, but Wild Horses sold Budweiser.
Karma Police (Radiohead): Only used in the documentary about them, Meeting People is Easy.
There She Goes (Sixpense None the Richer) [Thumbs down]: Parent Trap, Girl, Interrupted...
We Just Couldn't Say Goodbye (Toni Price): Nothing. Classy!
Portrait of an Artist (Lizzie West): Not this, but a killer version of Chariots Rise in Secretary.
Island in the Sun (Weezer): Beaches Family Resorts and crappy movies.
Falling (Ben Kweller): Natch! Only an episode of Austin City Limits.

It's not that I'm against anyone marketing themselves (I Read Michelle's Blog!), I just think it's kinda sad that the first time I hear songs, it's not often a radio DJ introducing it, MTV, or a weekend hit show. It's usually a commercial.

But then again, radio is not what it use to be. Check out my buddy's blog on the subject - specifically, Songs WXRT Should Stop Playing.

MM

40 Drinks in 40 Days - My Lenten Challenge

2010-02-22T13:50:00.000-08:00

So - you can tackle Lent many ways. Give up stuff. Do stuff. Give stuff. Ignore stuff. Or any combination of these things.

This year, Rob and I are trying "40 Drinks in 40 Days". That is the total number of alcoholic beverages we can consume over the Lenten season. My mother is reading this and judging us. But, I would like to point out that St. Patrick's Day falls during this time period, and in Chicago, it is an all day sporting event.

Since last Wednesday I have had one Dark and Stormy (Friday), one beer (@ Wilde Pug for Mickey's birthday - you have to buy something to hang out with your dog there for an extended period of time) and one glass of wine (Saturday night dinner). See how this works?

This weekend should be challenging because we have 2 events 1) a Bull's game (don't think I'll have more than two there...are you aware of the ridiculous cost of a Miller Lite at any professional sporting event?) 2) a good friends' homecoming party. He was halfway around the world. That is a 5 drink allotment, minimum.

We actually have a tally sheet on our fridge:

And less than a week in, we've already found ways to "cheat". Order doubles. Order "Ladies" drinks. Order "talls". Select "Large Format" beers. If you drink wine, get someone to refill the glass before it is empty, that is still one drink. Yeah, I know - kind of lame that we're not really trying to challenge ourselves that much.

But it is interesting to actually keep tabs on consumption of any kind. As Americans we're not just known for our loud patriotic cheering, we're also known for our fat asses. I for one am tired of having one of those - and have been paying close attention to what I eat, and now what I drink.

I'll keep you posted, one drink at a time.

Hic.

MM

Spring Fever!

2010-02-18T09:21:00.000-08:00

Anybody else catch the fever yet?

When the weather starts to turn (even from the 20's to the balmy 30's) I just can't concentrate.

Spring means shedding all of these layers of clothing. Finally getting all that Vitamin D I've been missing. People crawling out of their winter dens and slowly making their way to the lakefront for some spring exercise and fresh air.

Summer plans begin to take shape. Lollapalooza rumors start spreading. Summer shows begin rehearsals. Catchers and pitchers report to camp. March Madness brackets come together. The freezer has been emptied - whether through consumption or boredom - chili, soup and stew no longer sound good. Bright cotton tees and dresses push out drab gray sweaters and coats, marked down embarrasingly cheap - they were never cozy enough.

And of course a renewal of interest in the opposite sex (or if you don't roll that way, your preferred sex). Doesn't matter if you're married, taken, spoken for, betrothed or anything else, spring awakens so much more than the tiny buds in the trees gawking anxiously outside your frosty windows.

I have always had a bad case of spring fever boy crazies. Luckily my husband finds this somewhat endearing. It's probably because the feeling is infectious. Look around and notice that people start smiling a little more. Are just a tad more engaging on trains, at bus stations, just walking around. I just notice people more. It's funny how we all fade into the background underneath our scarves and hats and gloves. Our hunkered postures and harried pursuit of indoor shelter from the cold deny any time for niceties. Dude, get outta my way, it's freezing!

But as soon as we begin to shed these layers, everything really does seem new again. How is it that we forget every year? That people are beautiful to watch. That nature is breathtakingly resilient. That it feels good to be noticed. Knowing you are alive and feeling alive is at once both comforting and exhilarating.

The collective restlessness is palpable. Do you feel it? Not yet? Well it is still just February. Perhaps I've caught the fever early. I smile in your general direction.

And thanks for reading! If you're digging it, please follow it. You can follow me on Twitter too (#michelletweet).

mm

How I Stay Motivated

2010-02-17T08:42:00.001-08:00

Eating healthy and exercising daily can be a challenge. I have come up with a few ways to keep myself motivated. Here's a few of them - all pics taken during yesterday's work out.
Keep goals (whatever they may be) in PLAIN sight:

The straight ahead view from the elliptical. A dress that looks good, but I can't sit in it comfortably yet, and obviously, a swimsuit.
Keep the tools you need close at hand - all the time! For me, this means my journal, water, weights, calculator - all in reach from the elliptical.

The journal is where I keep each workout's goals (ex. 3 sessions, burning calories in increments of 300, 275, 250), daily calorie counts up until the workout time (breakfast toast 80, PB 70, soup 80, carrots 25, laughing cow 35, almonds 35, etc.). This has been a good reference for tracking what's working best - it also is a nice way to challenge myself. If I don't meet a goal I give myself a check minus - which I really hate. I also come up with some of my best sketch ideas, song lyrics, and other stuff during workouts, so I write them all in that little journal too.
The timer and session summary are my lifeline.

And of course - everyone needs a secret weapon. Mine happens to be a magazine basket that has an old Vanity Fair with a layout of Robert Pattinson in it. I just happened to notice that if he's visible, I work a lot harder!

Making Yourself Productive Anywhere

2010-02-16T07:59:00.000-08:00

Tips and Tricks for Creating a Work Space Anywhere

Today's Office Space:

Window (natch). End stool (double natch). Far from door (triple natch).

I have become very good at creating a mobile office for myself wherever I have to...I have a nice space at home, however it is too close in proximity to a nocturnally scheduled spouse, and sometimes I have to interface with clients by phone. So I typically work in the large overstuffed chair under a large bay window in our living room. The broad armrests serve as a perfect desk and lunch tray.

Today, our housekeeper Helena is working so I have been ousted from my normal place. This means an earlier start to the day, and wearing actual clothes. Not workout/pj hybrids. It also usually means heightened productivity. (I think it's because people are watching.)

It also means packing up all the things I need to serve four different clients into one bag (there is no guarantee that I'll have more than the room under my chair to stow it once I'm settled in). Luckily, most of the information I need for them is online somewhere or in email trails and other project notes.

Some advice on working mobiley:

1) You want to go somewhere with a clean bathroom. (Your own house is #1 - hopefully, if not I can give you Helena's number - but coffeehouses aren't all created equally when it comes to cleanliness and usage. Read: Homeless people.) This is a necessity because in order to justify four+ hours of loitering, you must nurse at least two coffees, or a huge coffee and a breakfast item, or breakfast and an overpriced juice.

2) Go ahead and pay for the secure wi-fi. Stealing, or hooking into a free one is a security faux pas and also provides shotty performance. Unlike at home where a brief interruption can give you a few seconds to throw clothes in the dryer or unload the dishwasher...at a mobile location it's just lost time.

3) You want a view that is better than one you have at home. The sky is the limit. There are countless lunch counters in the city located far above ground with panoramic views of the gorgeous skyline and the lake. But for me, my local coffee house suffices. This is too easy for me as we live in a garden unit, and although we look out to a pretty yard, my chair is actually under the window, and I have more of a Laverne & Shirley view from there.
Better View.

4) Bring only what you need, but make a list to make sure you have everything. Once you're settled in and have nabbed a good spot - you really can't leave and come back. Also, once you've paid your $3.99 for wi-fi, you don't want to disconnect.

5) Be overly nice to the employees. You are in their house. Don't spread out too much, don't hog too many outlets or chairs. Don't inconvenience other customers...because this inconveniences the folks that are turning their heads to your loitering.

6) Don't go anywhere too child friendly. Kids that are not in school are not usually very well-behaved yet. They are disruptive, don't care that you are trying to earn a living, and in general, noisy and sticky. Don't let them anywhere near your space.

7) Don't go where all the other "writers" go. It's like being a living Mad Lib. Writers write about their environment and what they see in front of them. Unless you want to be the subject of an ugly blog about people who write nasty things about children, go somewhere with more neutral clientele.

8) Avoid any place too close to train tracks. Obviously, trains are noisy, however I find them quite romantic and inspiring. You really do get use to the noise. I'm referring to the constant flow of traffic into the shop every time the train stops. New people entering coffee shops and restaurants tend to be loud until they assimilate to the vibe that has been so carefully crafted by the current patrons.

9) Go somewhere that changes up the music a lot. I love the barista here because he has great music taste and an uncanny ability to get a feel for the vibe of the customer taste and very subtly conducts the morning to a great soundtrack. It flows from songs that snap you right out of your work and give you that 2 minute respite which reinvigorates your creativity, to soothing but bland white noise. Today I've heard Train in Vain, some Duffy, some Van and a little Tragically Hip. I still listen to my Pandora real low, just to help drown out the loudest customers of all...Chicago's Finest. The police.

10) Which brings me to my final tip. Go to shops with lots of cops. It's safer. If you do have to go to the bathroom, go when the shop is full of cops. Your laptop is much less likely to get swiped then - you may even be able to leave it where it is with a sweet nod to them, your space, the bathroom door. Usually they are happy to assist with a lookout.

Have a great work day - whether you're in Cubeland or beyond...

QUICK UPDATE: There is nothing more awkward then coming home and your cleaning lady is not done yet and you can't go anywhere because you're waiting for a business call and she is grunting and huffing and puffing and you can't go into the back bedroom because your husband is asleep and you can't go back to the coffee shop because you already spent 5 hours there...

Michelle

We have a delivery for you in the lobby...or not.

2010-02-12T10:00:00.000-08:00

Happy Valentine's Day!

Or Hallmark Holiday!

Or Make Him Do Something that Says We Do More Than Hook Up Day!

Or Let's Have to Come Up with Some Anti-Love Sentiment to Cover Up that We're Pretty Pissed to Be Alone ANOTHER Valentine's Day.

Or You Really Like Valentine's Day, Valentine's Day!

At least as adults, we can tie one on regardless of our thoughts on the holiday. I have to admit, I'm one of the lucky ones. I have a nice husband who gets the memo regarding gifts and no I never get stuck with whatever Kay Jewelers is shoving down our collective throats. "Journey Pendant", Jane Seymour's "Hearts", or whatever that thing that looks like equestrian equipment with the creepy thunderstorm commercial - "I"ll never let go of you". I can usually expect a little something, thoughtful. I'm lucky now...however it certainly wasn't always that way.

Both the junior high and high school I attended took Valentine's Day as a serious fundraising opportunity. They pushed molded chocolate roses, cheaply made plastic hearts that play Let Me Call You Sweetheart, and hot-pink dyed Carnations. Making sure to drive home the need to have a "special someone" very early in every Warrior's life. Oh, how I coveted those girls called to the office or the front of the room to pick up their tacky trinkets. I was never called.

Valentine's Day became such a huge popularity contest. The popular pretty girls would literally be carrying crap around in garbage bags. Somewhere around Jr. High (when I learned I should probably lie about the balloon bouquet and bear my Dad - c/o Mom - sent me and say it was someone from a nearby town), I was on my own for V-Day. Sure, I had the occasional sweet friend who sent everybody one of the carnations - but the boys...not so much. I once found myself with a boyfriend in high school on 2/14 who gave me perfume and took me out to dinner which was nice - but he was older and didn't go to my school, so nobody really knew about it. I was so sad that no one would see that I actually did have an interested party, that I packed that perfume and card when I went on a ski trip that weekend. (Not exactly the best idea. Ski equipment + cranky bus driver + 50 overzealous youth groupers = one very sweet smelling duffel bag.)

I never got flowers from a boy (except for corsages for dances) until I was in college. And then, they were usually picked along a highway or from a drug store.

Then, when I was 23, I met my husband, and I think he sent me flowers like once a week for months. I was fully getting more than my payback for the humiliating and empty-handed walk to the bus I did every Valentine's Day for years. It was almost embarrassing though, such a showy display of affection...but still, I always remembered how bad it was on Valentine's Day when I was a teenager, and how I felt left out, undesirable, dorky, immature, and somehow less than, so the flowers were always appreciated.

It's a shame that a holiday could make one group of people feel alienated, ashamed, pressured and another feel like they are floating on air. No matter which side of the line you're on, just have a good weekend. Hey, it's President's Day too - most of us won't get anything for that one!

Michelle

My Officemate is Kind of a D.B.

2010-02-11T12:27:00.001-08:00

So there is this dude I work with.

That's him. We have to share an office. As you can see he has some hygiene issues. He's clean, but seriously, has the guy ever SEEN a comb? He takes horrible phone messages too. You should see the shit he writes. He is always happy to share my lunch with me, but he never brings anything. He never refills the paper in the copier or makes coffee. He's kind of an asshole.

This is after I told him he needed to go outside to do his business. I guess he was mad.

Good thing I don't like to keep Christmas themed stuffed animals after the holidays. Not sure what I could do anyway. He doesn't care when he gets in trouble. What a douche.

I was busy trying to drum up business all day.

He just stared at me.

You should have seen how drunk he got at our company holiday party. That's our IT guy trying to talk him down.

Dude did he get sick on the couch? Gross.

He's so dumb. This is what he considers "Business Casual."

He kept saying it was "BEES"niss Casual.

I hate him.

But I'm stuck with him. I guess it could be worse...

Who is the worst person you ever had to share workspace with?

Jeans with "Stretch" Should Come with a Warning

2010-02-11T08:37:00.000-08:00

Stretching is a good thing. Good when you first wake up. Good to keep your joints healthy and loose. Good on Thanksgiving. Good when you first zip up jeans from the dryer.

However, the goodness gets, ahem, stretched thin, when after wearing jeans for about half an hour they are nearly two sizes larger than when they first went on.

Case in point. Bought some jeans. Pulled them on the first time, fitted and no muffin top - choice! Unfortunately, every five minutes I felt a little "give" until finally I was pulling them up. They became SO stretched out they feel like sweat pants. So I slept in them.

Look at that stretch!!!

Never thought I'd be one of those people looking for "skinny" jeans without any stretch, but I think I might. Denim stretches eventually anyway...but this is ridiculous. You think it's some ploy by the manufacturer to trick people into thinking that they are smaller than they really are? According to this I am a child's medium.

This guy needs a little more stretch in his pants...but he likes to stretch. You can watch him.

Have a good day, and may your pants only give out when you're ready.

Wish I Could Just...

2010-02-10T11:31:00.000-08:00

pick up a guitar and wail.
make a funny face that isn't ugly.
drive through the snow without fear of hitting anything.
eat without guilt or regret.
stop worrying about money.
fast forward to the fall when I'll be in Germany and London.
rewind 10 years and redo everything with more bravado, that inlcudes mistakes.
believe that people are generally good, and not manipulative or selfish.
take some of the pain and discomfort my family has known and carry it around a while.
listen to great music all day and not be jealous.
be really honest with everyone, myself included.
stop wondering "what if"...that time has passed.
appreciate what I do have.
realize I might be better off the way I am.

Weight Plateau

2010-02-09T12:27:00.000-08:00

I was dropping it like it was hot! But then I stopped. Goal is about 10-15 lbs away and I've hit a brick wall.

Trying to shake up the work out - elliptical not exactly getting boring, still having fun, but not seeing the results like I was before - and not burning up the calories the way it use to. I stay on for a long time (sometimes 2 hours - 4 sessions) to burn the # of calories I want.

Today I'm trying: Eating more calories (to kick up metabolism) and YBB + Elliptical.

Eating healthy and exercising is very rewarding - wish I had always felt this way...then it wouldn't be as hard to get to where I would like to be. But being healthy is giving me a lot more confidence, especially when I am performing - and with improv you never know where you or your body are going to end up.

One thing that is really motiviating is working out to really great music. What songs pump you up?

Some of my current faves:

Listen to my fave Pandora station if you like.

Michelle

Show Time!

2010-02-05T14:30:00.000-08:00

Getting back in the improv saddle tonight! I had about 3 weeks off and I'm feeling a little rusty - which usually can work in my favor. I might able to parlay this nervous energy and excitement I have to get back on stage with my fellow pHers into some fun tonight.

I have several pre-show, show day rituals.

1) Eat light - usually a dinner type lunch then no dinner ("Always go on stage hungry." - Sally Anderson)
2) Work out. Helps me to feel confident about my body. In a show called pHetish, you never know what you'll end up doing.
3) Listen to a special mix.
4) Crossword puzzle. You'll never believe how often this helps to pull random crap out of thin air.
5) Leave early to get some "people" time. Helps to create new characters, ideas.

Ah. So come see what all of this amounts to!

Tonight:

pHRENZY - 8 PM StudioBe 3110 Sheffield (Rated PG)
pHETISH - 12 AM StudioBe 3110 Sheffiled (Rated R)

All shows BYOB. www.whatisph.com

Waiting Game

2010-02-03T10:30:00.000-08:00

As a consultant and freelance writer I spend a lot of time waiting for comments.
I work quickly, then wait. Work quickly then wait. Work then wait.

Wait.

Wait.

Bleep! Email!Bummer. It's from "notification+ohrcvrle@facebookmail.com".

Wait.

Lunch.

Wait.

Blog.

Wait.

Perhaps they'll be juicy comments with lots of nuance - something for me to really chew on. Maybe they will just be a couple of corrections. Maybe they will just say, "go live". Don't know yet. All I can do is wait.

Hey Politicians! Stop Cutting Down Trees

2010-01-29T11:15:00.000-08:00

It's election time - this is NOT a political post by the way - and I'm wondering...what notes were these guys taking when Barack Obama (like him or not) demonstrated the incredibly effective (reach millions, seems like 1:1) and efficient (CHEAP and easy) use of social media to get out communications?

Everyday our mailbox is completely stuffed with full color, card stock grade direct mail pieces from dueling politicians. NONE of which are ever read in our household. *The picture above is only from 2-3 days.

Here's why:
1) I assume you're out of touch if you think direct mail or the phone is how to reach me.

2) We are green - and your full color brochure on heavy card stock is a display of irresponsible use of resources and money, not to mention very out of date.

And here's another picture with a full size one subject notebook to give you perspective on the LARGE size of these pieces.

And we get double the mailings and phone calls- one of us is a registered Republican, the other a Registered Democrat, so we're hit twice as hard.

Also, understand that this stuff actually impacts who people choose.

Social Media is the same as you handing me that banana by the train Alderman Moore, only less creepy. We can "have a conversation" only I don't feel ambushed, free breakfast or not, on my way to work. Now, politicians are ambushing our phone lines and our poor little mailbox - which is really only used for sending and receiving thoughtful cards and thank you notes.

I know you won't see this, but if you do, please, try some online campaigning. Save a tree!

And just FYI, here is a list of all of the politicians who sent this stuff and the number of pieces:
Worst Offender - Heather Stean(D) - State Senator Race(4 pieces - 2 of each) Largest format.
Bridget Gainer(?) - Commissioner Race (1) Large format.
Dan Hynes(D)- Governor Race (1)
Yehuda Lebovits(D) 9th Judicial Subcircuit Judge Race 1 - Heaviest card stock.
Mark Kirk(R) - Senate Race (1)
Mariyana T. Spyropoulos(?) Commissioner Race (1) IRONY AWARD, her mailer talks all about her dedication to providing clean water, conservation and FOREST PRESERVATION.
Todd Connor(D)Metropolitan Water Reclamation District (1) Another IRONY AWARD "He's protected our environment while protecting our country."
Stella Black(D)Metropolitan Water Reclamation District (1) Smallest format mailer received.

Michelle

Have YOU Laughed Today?

2010-01-28T13:40:00.000-08:00

I have indeed. In fact I "laugh" everyday.

That's a reference to those (sort of) cute commercials for Lite Laughing Cow Cheese (so good and that little wedge goes much further than you'd think!)

As you may know from reading the blog I've lost some weight. I have been receiving really nice comments from friends and they all want to know what I'm doing. Well, it's not a pill, packaged food, motivational plan, cult, or pact with the devil. It's old-fashioned eat less, exercise more. A lot less and a lot more too.

I also get asked what I eat really often, so here is a typical day:

Breakfast:
Coffee (splash skim, 2 Splenda) x 2 or 3 depending on the day
2 pieces of "Very Thin" Pepperidge Farm bread (40 cal. each)
1 tbsp peanut butter (105 calories)

Lunch:
2 Rye Crisps (50)
1 Lite Laughing Cow Cheese Wedge (35)
1/2 slice thin ham, turkey or chicken (about the size of a post it) (about 50)
Lettuce (10)
Pepper Ring (10)
One cup soup (nothing over 100 calories, also low sodium)
Carrots (25)
Celery (10)
7 almonds (35)

Dinner:
3 oz. chicken, fish, beef, pork, portabello mushroom (depends)
cup of steamed vegetables (usually less than 50 cal. - no butter, maybe lemon juice)
1/4 cup rice (half or less of what a serving is) (cal. depends)

Dessert/Snack

Sometimes a cookie, or a piece of chocolate from the freezer. A lot of times nothing.

If it's not coffee, then it's water. ONLY. NO juice, no soft drinks, no alcohol (most days, but yeah, the occasional glass of wine here and there and I go out like a normal person.)

Exercise - EVERY SINGLE DAY.

Rotate between :30 - 2:00 hour elliptical sessions throughout a week with about 3 days being 2 hours and 3 days being 1 hour and 1 day being :30 minutes.

I also do Pilates occasionally (on a 1 hour or less elliptical day) and often walk to a train stop that is a little further to add more movement.

Do I cheat? Of course! But do I make up for it with a super tough work out? YES. And go much lighter on food the next day.

But the more I live this new lifestyle, the more I find I automatically make better choices, and actually don't feel well after eating "junk".

And I'm at a place where I'm seeing results. Clothes that haven't fit in years suddenly slip right on. Zip right up. Button right down. And that makes me laugh!

It's the End of the World...Where's Your Sterno?

2010-01-07T08:43:00.000-08:00

Coming to you from Starbucks again. Big fat snowflakes falling outside. Productivity at a high today considering I'm completely and utterly sick and also have hurt my back. But - luckily it's the kind of back injury that only hurts when I sit or lay down, or cough, or laugh, or breathe too deeply - so you know, nothing to worry about!
The view of the snowfall outside and my list of things to do is helping me to not think about my back - and the hilariously goofy conversations happening behind me at the counter by the 22-year old worker and his wiser, more life-experienced manager, (23 1/2) are keeping me entertained.
I have a curious likeness for the younger one because his tangled coal black hair and modest size remind me of Dave Bielanko from Marah. He also is wearing his Starbucks hat askew on his head, but this may very well be because he's so small, and it simply doesn't fit him. Or he may be a douchebag, but I'm giving him the benefit of the doubt today.
Today seems light and serene compared to the restlessness and weird dreams of last night. Likely brought on by my insistence in watching a program called "Apocolype Man" on the History Channel. This ex-marine guy shows you all these survival tips for when it's the end of the world - like how to break into a hospital and generate power to charge the car battery you will surely find at an abandoned gas station and how to effortlessly swing from a tire iron and rope to cross a bridge into a city to find supplies.
Yikes. I'm not gonna make it in an apocolypse.
First, even with my workouts (2-5 pound weights!) I don't think I'd be able to carry a car battery around on my back for very long before chucking it for something more immediately useful...like my makeup bag. Second, I don't think I would be able to climb to the top of a building to find rainwater to drink (which I will sterilize using a can of Sterno I'll easily find in an abandoned house) because I'm really afraid of heights.
So as this guy is doing all these incredible things and talking about his experiences in POW training I resign myself to the fact that I will not make it under these conditions. Then the program ends and I'm not feeling too bad because I see a commercial for a program about Nostradamus and it says the world will probably end in 2060 and I do the math and realize I'll probably be too old to care and will go down like that old couple in Titanic. There's some dignity in that. But the new show coming on declares that the end of the world is actually Dec. 21st, 2012. Oh. That's coming up soon. I mentally start a list - tire iron, rope, book on how to tie knots, sterno, canned food, water, make friends with car thief to learn how to hotwire a car, up weights to 5-7 pounds, etc. What's really scary is how much of history is pointing to either of these dates actually being real days to worry about. I won't get into that here - I haven't really read about the subject - only watched some shows and did see 2012 (add "learn to fly plane" to list) but I just worry that there might actually be something to this...and I wonder how worth it would it be to try and survive. But then a couple of homeless people walk by me and my back stiffens. I covertly slide my purse under my foot, closing myself off and creating an aura of invisibility around myself and realize maybe I have just a little more fight than flight than I realized.

Ugh - So Hard to Come Up With Ideas Sometimes!

2010-01-06T11:09:00.000-08:00

So I've helped myself out for the next several blogs to come (unless I have something fun to report!)

I'm always coaching my clients that if they don't think they have anything to say - just make up a top 10 list - they are easily consumed, don't require much time to put together and are perfect for sharing.

So I took my own advice today and prepared this:

10 Top Top 10 List Ideas:

10 Ways to Stay at Home and Not Spend Money
10 Surprising Pajama Options
10 Tips for Maneuvering Quietly with Back Pain
10 Things that Smell but Work Really Well (inspired by above)
10 Reasons Why Getting Older is Not Going to Win Me a Date with Rob Pattinson
10 Ways to Blow Your Diet After Midnight
10 Interesting Subjects to Bring Up with a Person Who is 8 Months Old, Cries a Lot and Lives Above You
10 Excuses For Why the Mailman Comes at a Different Time Every Day
10 Ways the UPS Man Stays on Schedule
10 Worst #1 Answers to a Top 10 List

Vote for the list you'd like to see first kids!

Michelle

Michelle - Down 2 sizes and 18 pounds

2009-12-08T10:04:00.000-08:00

Wow. So I have been working very hard to drop all of this extra weight I've been carrying around the last couple of years and am very proud to say, even broadcast that I went from 172 to 154. I have a goal to get to around 145 and stay in that vicinity - so still about 10 pounds to go - but I can't tell you how much better I feel about myself and how big a difference it makes in feeling confident.

Here's how I did it (so far):

1) Eat WAY less. Typically I have 2 slices of toast (diet bread at 40 calories each) with 1 tbsp (that's 1/2 a serving) peanut butter with coffee for breakfast. For lunch, I usually have a cup of soup (I measure it - a can has 2 or more servings - don't eat the whole can) with rice crackers or rye crisps, a wedge of Lite Laughing Cow cheese and an apple. I also only eat low sodium versions of soup - writing down what I eat everyday and weighing everyday I have learned EXACTLY what makes me fat. For me it's salt and sugar. Dinner depends on my schedule as I may only have time for a Lean Cuisine (nothing over 325 calories). If I don't have a show, I'll eat very specific portions of fish or chicken (3 oz) with a full cup of steamed vegetables and something like brown rice or couscous. I also cut way back on alcohol - another food group that really sends the scale tipping.

2) I'm active EVERY. DAY. I either work out on the elliptical machine, do a pilates routine (sometimes both) or I am in a very physical sketch comedy show that includes dancing, running around and a scene where I have to hold my arms up the sides (straight out) for about 5 minutes (this has been a huge help!)

3) I am dilligent in making healthy choices at restaurants. Less a slip or two here or there I will order grilled vs. fried, fruit vs. fries, salad vs. sandwich, etc.

4) I didn't get carried away during Thanksgiving and worked out on Thanksgiving. No seconds (of anything).

5) I eat an apple a day. It's full of fiber and requires a lot of chewing which helps me to feel full and satisfied.

6) I eat my meals sitting down, and chew slowly.

7) I do not eat while I cook. I chew gum.

8) If I'm hungry I will drink a full glass of water - I believe I have minsinterpreted thirst for hunger my whole life.

9) I try not to ever eat late. (I've slipped here a couple of times because I couldn't eat before shows that I'm in, but for the most part I'm done eating by 6:00.)

10) I have publicized and shared my diet plans and progress with supportive friends and now here too. This accountability helps me to stay focused and the possible embarrassment of gaining the weight back would be that much worse.

Here's to celebrating the holidays not worrying about what I'll wear. I have a new red dress that is 2 sizes smaller than last years hanging within view of my exercise machine. It reminds me of what I've been working for and don't want to see slip away again. I had to ask the saleslady twice to bring a different size - what a happy day.

Working from Home - Perfect Except for Humiliating Run-Ins with UPS Man

2009-11-18T13:13:00.001-08:00

Working from home is truly a joy, however there are a few disadvantages. I've come up with my Top 10 below. Oh none of these would ever outweigh the advantages - but in this world nothing is ever perfect.

Drum roll (if you're into that sort of thing):

1) Getting coffee doesn't actually get you the 10 minutes of "I need to step away from this problem, clear my head and return to it with a fresh idea". At least not in my small condo it doesn't. The short trek from my desk or favorite chair to the coffee pot is nothing more than crossing a room.

2) You will never look your best when the doorbell rings. Our UPS man has become accustomed to my crazy pajama/lounge wear/workout wear clothing choices, bad breath, glasses and tangled claw clip hairdos. Not to mention my lack of bra before 5 PM (unless I'm running errands!) Although he's used to it, I never fail to see his disappointment when I come traipsing to the door for work or early Christmas packages. It's like he thinks I'm going to get all gussied up just for him. He's semi-cute but has horrible road rage and I've reported him more than once for very bad driving. He threw a Gatorade bottle at our car once, denting the front hood. Oddly, he's very nice to dogs and children, basically everyone, unless he's behind the wheel of his truck.

3) The world goes on outside - and you're unaware. I typically leave the house everyday by around 5:30 for a rehearsal or show - or errands - but there is the occasional day when I have all my errands done and no rehearsal or show to get to and never (actually never) go outside. These are sad days, but what am I an old person - going out for a "walk"? I work out in our bedroom when my husband wakes up (so I'm not lazy - if that's what you were thinking!), I have every technical device invented to keep me in touch with work, friends, family. My mailbox is inside. My dog gets walked by my husband or neighbors. Occasionally it just doesn't happen. I know I'd miss going outside terribly if something happened and I couldn't anymore (global Armageddon, imprisonment), but aside from some guilt and a mild case of regret, I don't fret about this too much.

4) You get very sick of your furniture/decor/paint color/etc. Spending so much time at home makes home a very boring place to be. No longer your haven away from the office, home becomes boring resembling a familiar but worn out old shoe...suddenly you notice all of the things you don't like about your space. Lack of natural light, no elevator, no plant watering crew.

5) You can no longer escape messes at home at the office, or office messes at home. They are both there for you.

6) Thin walls/ceilings will challenge your affection for your neighbors and provide you with far too much information about their home life. Not to mention how much they can challenge your ability to concentrate. I am, however rather lucky in this department, since I really love my neighbors...just wish some of them were ready to go to school during the day. No matter how cute, loud is loud. (Especially if you're working on a rather detailed coding issue.) But, for the most part, this is not really a huge problem.

7) You get your social interaction virtually. This is both good and bad. No more sitting through boring meetings with people you'd rather not share air with, but also, no more fun meetings with funny and attractive co-workers either.

8) No more camaraderie that is found on crowded train cars when someone farts. (Upshot is obviously no farts...at least not of the stranger variety.)

9) Time moves faster...from home. Feels great to be done with your work day faster...but also feels like another day flew by and that life is slipping away.

10) No free lunches, birthday cake, office supplies, ergonomic desk chairs, downtown views, official-looking badges, fancy desk phones, endless paper, copier ink replacements, happy hour invites or gossip.

Well, that's all for today. I'm going to go get a shower and wait for the UPS man.

Michelle

Fashion Flashbacks - Welcome or Worse for the Wear?

2009-10-20T11:36:00.001-07:00

I love the fall! Cooler temps mean I can return to the warm, safe cocoon of layers and coverage. Then I see any one of the what seem to be thousands of adorable 18 year old Loyola kids in my neighborhood skip past me on the sidewalk, cigarette in hand, ironic fedora on head, gigantic luggage sized purse on a frighteningly stick like arm and the teeny-tiniest skinny jeans tucked into the most fabulous boots.

I hate it, but it's just the strange cycle of fashion. The last time skinny jeans, leggings, jeggings (the combination of these two horrifically judgemental fashions), stirrups and off-the shoulder sweater tunics was "in", I weighed about 98 pounds, and had that same outfit in practically every color of the rainbow, plus in black with rhinestones on the huge fold-over shawl collar. HOT.

Comfortable? Yes. But this outfit makes everyone look like the weird Saturday morning guy that told us to eat apples and cheese. Oddly lumpy top supported by toothpicks on the bottom.

After thinking leggings would be the absolute worst thing to make a comeback, I hesitate, as I should, since I happen to be wearing a pair right now. Although I've paired mine with a more fitted tunic. Now I think the worst fashion flashback would be parachute pants. All that frickin' swishing. And the static electricity. And all those dumb pockets. Plus, they're freezing.

What I'd like to see comeback? Those adorable turtlenecks with little things on them that match sweaters?

I paired this with a pair of boys (they were cheaper than the "girl" pair at JC Penny's) parachute pants. I liked to mix genres at this age. My shoes were white snakeskin pumps, that I wore everywhere. Including riding my bike.

The Audacity of Nope

2009-10-19T11:38:00.000-07:00

So the new show that I'm in called The Audacity of Nope has certainly received some interesting press. Chris Jones of the Trib announced our title a couple of weeks ago on the front page of the Live! (Question - is this Live like - "Live" every day as if it were your last or Live - like Saturday Night "Live"?) section as some sort of reaction to Chicago's failed bid for the Olympics. Nevermind that we came up with it back in June, and that there was a lot more animosity toward the president at that time for not following through on some important issues and for being as he always has been, non-committal on supporting gay marriage. But, we were thrilled that this news did play into our overall theme of "NOPE". But we're also getting a thumbs up from more conservative blogs because of our title...too soon? Such fun that our title is stirring up so many assumptions! Want to see for yourself? Get some tickets!

Personally, I'm in a tricky place because as a straight person, I do not think it's my place to be the voice of gays or anyone besides myself for that matter. I'm no Oprah. But, in terms of the President and most politics, I do have opinions. This revue has been named in such a way that expectations of the content and themes are being assumed. It's extremely exciting to be a part of such a fragile thing as an "irreverant revue" whether given that description under the guise of a title, or past productions and reputation.

I'm really digging the mild controversy and real interest in our show. We've got some stuf up our sleeves...like all art, comedy doesn't hold anything sacred - with the exception of the quality of the joke itself. The key is timing.

The thing people don't understand about comedy writers and comics in general is that we shift gears very quickly turning tragedy into comedy much faster than normal people. It's something we HAVE to do to entertain people in a timely fashion. It also can silence rooms of "civilians" and end dinner parties early (why we like to socialize with each other).

It's also a survival mechanism. We have to "get there" faster so that the comedy is already bakd when the public decides they can finally exhale. Take 911 for example. I was in a comedy writing program during this time - in the second level of a five-level course - so still pretty early in the process. My class was on Wednesday nights. To my surprise our class was not cancelled, further our instructor asked us to put aside our sadness and stress and try to "find the funny". Most of us, myself included, freaked out, and started to leave when he asked us to sit and explained that this is also a way to cope. There is humor in every tragedy, you have to know where to find it. For starters, it's never the victims. Go after the criminals, the talking heads reporting on it, nature's reaction. Slowly, but surely, our pens started moving. I thought very hard and then remembered, at some point during the day of coverage it occurred to me that Katie Couric was dressed a little slutty that day. (Who wears one barrette?) Then other people's observations started to come out too. The luggage of two of the terrorists didn't make their flight. Pretty much everything Ashleigh Banfield said.

Later, when our show was produced, people were ready, and we had volumes of sketches to work with - there was no delay of "okay, now let's sit down and write about this". That would have been too late.

There is always constant pressure on comics to produce timely, truthful and thoughtful material - before everyone else thinks of the same jokes - and we're kidding ourselves if we think that people aren't also thinking the things we say before they do - duh, it's why they laugh!

Comedy is a game of being 10 steps ahead and keeping an open mind about everything you do. I wrote a song called Shame - which is no longer relevant because Obama revealed his intention to repeal Don't Ask Don't Tell and a tentative oppostion to DOMA recently. I worked for hours on the song, then just scrapped it. You have to be very happy to throw ideas away, no matter how wonderful. The beauty is the mind is an incredible thing, and so is life. There is always something funny going on and new ideas to discover.

Until next time, it's back to the drawing board for me...and here's a video for you!

Michelle

No Olympics. Good. No constant reminder that in 7 years I will be old as hell.

2009-10-02T08:35:00.000-07:00

Okay, so I was sporting my Chicago 2016 orange tee shirt provided to me by, well probably me (tax dollars HARD at work), thinking I would be wearing it until at least 11:30 or so, but no such luck.

Chicago didn't make it past the first round. Down to Madrid and Rio (which I really hope it goes to Rio now...since it's never been there before). The excitement prematurely snuffed out and a depressed weekend ahead for many. (Glad I'll be out of town, actually.)

Wondering what this is saying to the rest of the world about our town. Also wondering, how much money did we lose trying to get this?

I mean they really spared no expense. Even this free t-shirt is long-sleeved, and a good brand.

I was on the fence about it...mostly because hopefully by 2016 we'll be long gone, having settled nicely into our Manhattan digs with Chicago events and worries only of moderate interest to us. But who knows? Perhaps we would have still been here - it would have been intesting for both Rob (a news producer) and me (a performer) to be able to work with all of that material.

Perhaps this just lit a torch under both of us to high-tail it out of here.
Have a great weekend!

Crank Out the Funny or...You're Fired!

2009-09-28T07:56:00.000-07:00

So who else caught the season premiere of SNL this weekend? UGH. So disappointing.
It's still the "BE ALL, END ALL" dream job, however it's irritating to watch again this season.

The sketches that drag on for days. The hosts that bring nothing to the table. The boring musical breaks. Pretty much anything Kenan Thompson does (are there honestly NO OTHER funny black guys to replace him???? Come on! And while we're at it, Lorne Michaels, please meet Amber Ruffin, Dionna Griffin, Claudia Wallace all extremely talented black women).

The current pace of the show is exhausting. The scenes go on so long - why isn't head writer Seth Meyers editing anything? If the writers and cast could learn to edit themselves quicker, we'd always be wishing for more...instead of wishing for the end.

I know they have some new blood in there (specifically some intense writing talent via Second City), but unfortunately, the premiere didn't offer anything fresh, except for a couple of new faces that only stood to embarrass the cast and show.

And here's a question, WHY the new faces? Why did Casey Wilson and Michaela Watkins get fired? I liked Casey Wilson, I just think she needed to invent more opportunity for herself to be seen and she'd still be around. (Not sure if the rumours about her having to lose weight to stay on are true or not - and this should NOT be an issue anyway...it's SNL not Melrose Place!) Michaela had some great characters...not sure at all why she was booted. Age?

Here's the thing about comedy. Age = Life Experience. Life Experience = Funny. And is replacing curvy or older women with fresh-faced idiots that cause FCC problems, simply an effort to get a younger demographic? And is aiming for a younger demographic really going to help SNL? Don't young people prefer to make and watch their own videos as opposed to some old tired sketch show? Really, who is at home on Saturday night watching anything on network television? Probably an older demographic that would appreciate a cast that looks more like them.

As a person involved in the comedy scene - I wonder...is it not enough to just be funny? I am just about exactly the same size as Casey Wilson, and only a little younger than Kristin Wiig. However, as long as I can keep creating new characters, writing things that make my fellow castmates and I laugh, and keep getting cast, I'll never stop! And I hope Casey and Michaela keep going too.

But the thing that remains true whether you are on SNL, an improv troupe, a traveling company or just trying to be seen, if you're not regularly bringing the funny, you're not a factor, and likely fired. It's a high pressure, high stakes life. Every opportunity you have in front of an audience is an opportunity to strike gold...or to fall flat on your face. The key is to keep inventing. To stand out at places like SNL, Second City, Upright Citizens Brigade you have to bring the funny. And I mean, really funny, not just slightly amusing. And you have to be a machine. The funny needs to be cranked out by the yard and on a regular schedule. Some people only have a handful of funny ideas in their entire life...the people that succeed in the SNL pressure cooker have endless ideas. And these are ideas that work. Perhaps Casey and Michaela had a shortage of ideas. Or maybe it was something more arbitrary like demographics and appearance. In any case, you can bet your chances of survival are much higher if you can be counted on to bring unique, interesting, and memorable characters and scenes to life. And all the better if they only last three minutes or less.

This Year's Emmys - Still nothing interesting comes to mind.

2009-09-23T12:36:00.000-07:00

So it's been a few days since the Emmy's aired and to be honest I have been brainstorming as many ideas as possible to give some sort of opinion on the whole thing and all I can come up with is that I have none.

Sure, NPH was good, but didn't meet my high expectations. Kristin Chenowith was incredibly annoying regardless of the sincerity of her excitement. Tina Fey looked beautiful in black. Again (yawn). Jessica Lange should lay off the Botox. And the Moet. Seth McFarlane's date looked like a runner up in the Miss Hawaiian Tropic contest (Myrtle Beach). A telling choice that shows it's not just his humor (which I love!) perpetually stuck in seventh grade. The whole night was so boring that in fact the most shocking moment to me, was laughing at Jimmy Fallon. That short sketch was funny - and I don't always enjoy him.

The whole thing felt a bit like watching junior varsity football. Which is always what television is to the movies. During the reign of the Sopranos, television nearly surpassed movies in coolness (nearly). HBO and other cable networks were pushing some seriously edgy material and the public ate it up like hotcakes. Now, the edgy thing is overdone, and the shock value has faded. This year's Emmys reflected that dullness. Not to mention that Leno taking on the 5 night a week spot historically dedicated to "appointment television" drama series, the NBC has all but flown the white flag.

Hulu, YouTube, TiVo, OnDemand - they're all taking share away from the traditional networks. And the big advertisers did not get the memo 5 years ago to go out and hire a bunch of social media marketers to get in the game early and are now scrambling to make their case online, while still sinking megabucks into tv ads that aren't being seen.

But the biggest reason the networks are in trouble is that they're putting out crap - and with other choices people aren't forced to watch. Lots of people are creating their own entertainment and spending their free time marketing themselves...not watching whatever is put in front of them. The successful shows found that by being niche, they can pull socially savvy audiences. The stuff I like, Lost, Mad Men, 30 Rock, The Office, pull so-so ratings but have very vocal fan bases. I've never seen one episode of Two and Half Men. Apparently that pulls unbelievable numbers, but I've never seen anyone put anything on their Facebook page about it.

Today's consumer is very self-reliant. We are very "i" focused. We can customize everything we use in our daily life to compliment whatever personal interests we have. There are very few things we are stuck with listening to or watching. We have Sirius radio in the car so we can listen to all 80's Alternative all the time and never know what new music we're suppose to be downloading. We never set foot in a bookstore anymore because we can buy new books for $9.99 and read them on our Kindles. We can block spam, banner ads and popups, and if we don't, they're so cleverly selected for us based on the other stuff we have online that they actually present the one and only item we would ever need or want to buy.

Your new spokesmen?
I can think of only two places left in the world where media decisions are limited and that is in doctor's offices and hospitals where you cannot use your iPhone to watch whatever you like because "cell phone use is prohibited". So best of luck to the advertisers in Good Housekeeping, Better Homes and Gardens and Highlights for Children magazines. You have the burden of carrying the entire weight of the survival of traditional media on your shoulders. Here's a couple of tips for you. The pull out postcards still don't work and free perfume and makeup samples do!

Your product here???

When the Going Gets Floating...

2009-09-22T09:38:00.000-07:00

So I'm seriously well into my "sabbatical" and have remained busy doing all of the things I promised I would. But, it's an odd feeling - floating between the projects of my choice. Of course I do not miss going to a job everyday and having to postpone my own personal projects, but I have not felt very grounded. Still, the experience has been incredibly life altering, even if I haven't outwardly changed that much. I still set daily and weekly goals for myself. I still keep a detailed status report on all my projects (old habits die hard). I'm still really busy.

At the same time, I feel comfortable and happy in this ongoing purgatory of uncertainty, opportunity, and "TBD" status. It feels like something really amazing is just around the corner. I just have to be on the look out for it and ready to pounce. It's like being next - which is really better than it being your turn. Anticipation is one of life's most enjoyable creations. I currently am Mayor of Anticipation Station.

There have been lots and lots of job postings in my "day job" field, and I have been compelled to throw my hat into the ring for some of the more appealing and fruitful opportunities. However, I think there must be something in the universe that is deciding a few things for me...and so up to now, the old life has not moved back in.

This whole experience has actually changed a lot of things about me. I am a better person in some ways. I'm definitely a much better wife. I'm able to do things for him that I never did before. And I'm also able to support him in a new way, that I hope makes him feel important and valued. Weirdly, I don't know if I'm as good of a friend anymore. I just feel really focused on my own projects right now. I see my old life as not just being a slave to the job, but also to all of the social commitments I ended up getting myself into and then resented later. I'm learning to say no more often, and letting go of some of that guilt.

I'm also a completely different consumer. I was an avid shopper to say the least, and the fall has always been my absolute favorite clothes season, ever since my mom took me to Belks for new penny loafers. Although I still look through some of the catalogs I get, I don't feel as compelled to buy the latest trends. Plus, I spend most of my time at home writing, or at rehearsals, neither of which require anything more than jeans and a shirt. I also am getting comfortable with not being as generous as I have been in the past. I would spend thousands and thousands of dollars on lavish gifts for my family and friends every year, and I'm not really sure why. I fear it's that I felt I needed to do this to retain their love or friendship. Now that this type of giving is no longer possible, I feel liberated. Now I don't have to try to one up myself. I'm especially looking forward to the holidays and reverting back to a more "normal" level of generosity. It will be rewarding to make or buy items that I can put more thought into, instead of just paying more. I also wonder if people thought I was a little too generous, like maybe I made them feel uncomfortable, and maybe they thought I was a little pathetic. I always felt like, if you have it, spend it, I'll make more - and you could get hit by a truck. Now that I have very little and live on a very, very tight budget (about $20 a week for "spending money"), I have found that I'm actually happier. I feel smarter. I feel healthier. And I resent my debt so much more. If I didn't have that - I would really never be worried! I have nothing to show for those three payments I have to make every month. I didn't use them to pay my college tuition or to pay for life-saving surgery. I didn't use them to fund a film or a play. I just bought crap. Crap that is currently sitting in three huge garbage bags by the back door waiting to go to Goodwill. And in three smaller carrier bags waiting to be evaluated for consignment. ROI? A truckload of regret.

So now I enjoy a slower pace and grocery store shopping. I rode my bike to the grocery store this morning - because I have the extra time - I don't have to drive anywhere anymore. I noticed a nice side effect of the bike riding is that whatever I buy I have to carry, so no superfluous items ever make it into the basket. This saves money and calories!

I hope you find your moments of anticipation to savor today - and hope you can find ways to simplify your life and time to realize your dreams.

Michelle

Mind Your Manners - and General Peeves

2009-09-18T08:25:00.001-07:00

Okay - so I'm going to go ahead and say that I might just offend some of my readers. Hopefully not, but with all of this stuff being said about having general courtesy and manners in light of the Kanye and "You lie!" incidents, I feel I have a couple of things to add.

In regards to general behavior and decorum, when did it become okay to celebrate your birthday for longer than the actual day? I would say about 50% of my friends take birthdays to the extreme. January is not just a month anymore - it's "Karen's Birthday Month". Telling people it is your birthday and announcing your plans and how special you are was once frowned upon. Doesn't anyone else remember their mother whispering in their ear that this is obnoxious? Sure, the casual email - it's my birthday - let's eat, drink or whatever is completely fine. It's the full blown multiple day celebrations that I find ridiculous. And these aren't milestone birthdays either. They range from say 27 to 43. Here's the deal with birthdays, everyone has one, and it's a birthDAY not a birthMONTH. Obviously there are exceptions for people who have something a little more to celebrate on a birthday (surviving cancer is one), but generally, could we all just tone this down a little?

This brings me to the general shift in the way people talk about and perceive themselves. It use to be that people who said things like "I'm awesome" were conceited jerks. What happended to that? Self-confidence is one thing, complete self-adoration another entirely! If you're truly awesome, the world will let you know.
The Facebook Status is the best way to measure this about yourself. I update my status often (mostly to market shows I'm in or producing, but also to share the occasional injury or odd circumstance). However it can get ugly in a hurry. Read it out loud and measure how high it is on the brag scale. If it makes you giggle, please post, if it makes you cringe even a little, it's back to the drawing board.

And whatever happened to thank you notes and real "in the mail" invitations??? I host a holiday party every year and spend HOURS handwriting and addressing the invitations. It's kind of replaced our Christmas cards and isn't it so nice to get something in the mail? I'm not too opposed to the emailed thank you...it's still the gesture that counts the most, but saying nothing is really, really, bad behavior people. E-vites are cute to replace the at work email blast to grab a drink, but for a real, bonified event? No way.

Eating on the run has impacted table manners. I was recently at a wedding and one of the people at our table had not received her entree yet. Everyone except for say 3 of us at the table started - now this wasn't going to be a "it will get cold go ahead and eat" situation, her meal was on the way. And anyway, it's polite to wait, or at least wait until the person who has not yet been served says, "Please, go ahead and start." Not only that, they looked at us waiting like we were crazy.

Things just seem to be getting out of hand. Let's all try to just be nicer and quieter. Softer, and less braggy. Maybe it will spread like an uncovered sneeze. Which, don't even get me started on the disgusting things I've seen people do on the train...

Mindless Junk for a Friday Before a Holiday Weekend!

2009-09-04T10:59:00.000-07:00

Greetings! It's the Friday before a holiday weekend, and if you haven't already left work, you're farting around the web before you get that awesome email from "HQ" letting you know you may leave early today.

Here's some mindless junk to enjoy and pass the time before you get out of there.

1) Michelle Dugger has finally updated her hair. Jesus is real. Just in time for baby 19. I think perhaps I should pray more - I mean 19? I wouldn't mind just the one! Anyway. I like the Duggers. Those kids are amazing. They built their own house, then took those skills and built a huge addition to another giant family's house. What did YOUR kids do today? I'm just saying. Weird, sure. But they seem pretty normal in their interviews...I mean they have a sense of humor. And I really don't care if they're brainwashed, a well-behaved child is a beautiful child. Also, there's no denying that (I mean aside from the 19 babies) that Jim Bob and Michelle have some serious chemistry. I think that's refreshing. Especially since a lot of couples act more like Jon and Kate.

2) Labor Day Pains. It's the last weekend of the "summer" so end of season parties and sales abound. It's an odd place to be when you don't really see any "end in sight" to your current situation (more on that later). I've noticed that a lot of people are quite depressed (well, those who do not have school age children). It is sad, especially when you live in Chicago and the doom and gloom of winter will be upon us too soon. I happen to like the Fall (I know - that's crazy talk), it's my favorite season - I love the chance to finally throw on jeans and a long-sleeve tee shirt. I love the sound of crunching leaves underfoot. I love the non-sound of children playing during the day because they are off to school. It's not the fall and winter I dread, it's the March-May time here when the weather is snowy, slushy, rainy and the rest of the world is warming up and green.

3) Sabbatical Update: In the running for a couple of things - all very different. It's a wait and see situation, and one that I am more than happy to wait and see on. I've been very busy with my sabbatical activities and kind of dread having to make the inevitable decision on where and when I will return to the rat race. (And if I will have to). I have completed my manuscript for Louisa and the Circle of Hugs...and will be sending that off to potential agents/publishers next week. I got new headshots which I am absolutely thrilled with...we'll see if that gets me anywhere. I feel like so many things are on the brink, yet so far I am still firmly planted on the edge of change. I imagine the next several weeks will be very interesting for me and will (hopefully) present a lot of choices. It's a good place to be...but also I feel more pressure than ever to make the right choices for myself. I am proud that I have actually succeeded in getting myself into this position in the first place. I feel like I've taken full advantage of my time and really focused on my own wants and needs. But, the dwindling savings account causes a little bit of discomfort (still have 4 months saved), but does not yet lead to panic.

4) Anybody else getting tired of this lady?

She's EVERYWHERE! Don't get me wrong. She's got that "girl next door" thing going selling us everything from KY Warming Gel to Blinds to Pepto...but seriously, how will I ever break in if they only use the same actresses over and over???? A few years ago it was this blonde chick with a flippy haircut? She hosted While You Were Out for about 2 shows and disappeared for a bit. She was everywhere, but then poof gone. This Erica Shaffer person has proven to have some serious staying power. Good for her, I guess, but I just wish advertisers would open it up for a little more variety. Like chubby red-headed people who make weird faces???? (I'm available!)

5) PLUGS! If you're in the Chicago area, come see some really good improv this weekend. (Redeye, Reader and Yelp Recommended!) Visit www.whatisph.com and click "Who's playing". I'm up twice tonight (both the 8 PM and 12 AM shows and next Friday for the 12 AM show.)

Monday, Monday! Refreshing Perspective.

2009-08-24T08:02:00.000-07:00

I might possibly be the luckiest girl in the world. Monday morning is no longer a deeply depressing time for me, as a matter of fact it's usually a day filled with productivity, anticipation, and promise. Obviously it wasn't always like this for me.

Every morning when I wake up I usually grab the old iPhone and thumb through Facebook status updates (this is my equivalent to flipping on the news). Most updates on Monday read something like this "Oh Monday, you dirty bitch"...etc. (this week's contributing writers...Ashley and Ali), "Where did the weekend go?", "Coffeeeee", etc.

It's a rare find to see anyone very inspired by the fresh start to the week. There are a few exceptions, usually presented in scripture by some of my more religious friends, but lately, there have been a couple of people who are just downright humble and grateful for what they have - and it has been quite a refreshing change to read their posts when they are surrounded by deeply depressing and gloomy sentiments. So to Jeff and Kristen - thanks for always keeping the glass half full, and for the occasional Springsteen lyric.

Now onto more shallow subjects. Saw both District 9 and 500 Days of Summer this weekend. District 9 was good - although I'm not nearly as in love with it as everyone else seems to be. For example, a person whose opinion I value very much said the social commentary was done well and not at all heavy-handed - but I found the whole thing a bit cliche. That said, the story did move well, and was entertaining...although if you have as strong a gag reflex as I do...be prepared to watch through your fingers. It's still a go see - if only to make sure you're not the only one at the party not in on the conversation.

500 Days was great. I get the feeling it's the kind of movie you don't mind watching over and over. I also really like that it's unconventional, and by being unconventional, completely realistic. There are so many more "what could have beens" than happy endings in our real lives. And certainly many more unrequitted heartbreaks than movies usually portray. A refreshing perspective.

Thanks for reading!

Michelle

Starbucks Hour by Hour

2009-08-20T10:21:00.000-07:00

Greetings loyal followers, friends, relatives and passers by!
I've been sitting in a Starbucks for a few hours now (nursing my extravagant grande skinny vanilla latte so as not to come off too moochy). I have to tell you, this place becomes a completely different scene every hour. Hour one, the soundtracks to both Dirty Dancing and Shag play loudly waking up the weary 9-5ers and coercing them to their trains, desks, and responsibilities.
Music shifts around 10 to the Paul Simon Graceland album (start to finish). I realize that I should always type to "Obvious Child" as I crank out 3 pages in record time.

Luckily today has been very productive. Since my morning interview (for some freelance writing) was cancelled, I cranked out three (3!) sketches and also got myself out of the house. My main task today is to put the finishing touches on Louisa and the Circle of Hugs(C) and finally pack her up and off to publishers! Only a page and half left to go! (Look, it's not a Harry Potter 400 pager; it's a young child's book for dealing with death and dying so a page and a half is both heavy and long to me).

In other news (as I shift in my hard chair - you'd think with an ass the size of mine I wouldn't be uncomfortable anywhere, but even with all of my padding this chair is keeping me at nun-approved posture), I have (maybe) acquired an "AGENT". Yes, this is extremely exciting and I am doing everything they tell me to make my shot of getting a shot more likely. Starting with new headshots. Or "headshits" as I keep erroneously typing on my stupid, loathsome iPhone. I have been set up with someone who goes by one singular name for this. I have never in my life actually met a person with only one name until now and I am already feeling very Hollywood. Turns out he's extremely nice, normal and has a great sense of humor. I'm really excited about this. His only recommendation for my "look" is to acquire a "side bang". I sincerely hope he was referring to the long side-swept version and not some freaky hipster Chrissy Hynde thing (which by the way she pulls off no problem, me not so much).

Speaking of rockers...is anyone else also becoming annoyed by Kristen Stewart and her "method" impersonation of Joan Jett? In preparing for the upcoming Runaways biopic, she seems to be attempting to embody the coolest rock chick in history with a total lack of earnestness. Seriously, we already know you're not that cool, you've signed on to what is today's equivalent to the Sweet Valley High franchise. I know, I know I'm setting myself up for a barrage of attacks from some seriously hating 13-year olds with bedroom furniture fancier than mine, but you know what? Suck it vampire teeny-boppers. Anyway, Kristen: Stop being such a dumbass when you get interviewed. You'll be really embarrassed later when you look back.

Needing to wrap this up...the Bucks has gone into "smooth jazz mode" which means my right foot is asleep from sitting on it all day and I need to casually shake out the pins and needles without drawing attention to myself.

Hey, do me a favor and comment...let me know if you're still digging the blog and what you'd like to see more of!

Tuesday - Just another day

2009-08-04T09:55:00.000-07:00

Greetings! Perhaps you're hopping on at lunch. How much time is too much time to spend online?

A recent medical study found that children have hit an all time low for Vitamin D deficiency (lowest since before they started adding it to milk). Scientists and doctor's think it's because they aren't spending enough time outside...without sunblock. A person should get 10-15 minutes of sun (without sunblock) a day according to the report. Crazy! I guess that means this will be a short post and that I need to get outside today!

I was up until 3 AM painting the bathroom which is still being renovated. I got the first coat up and I'm still covered in khaki paint 2 showers later.

I can't wait to have the house back. It's exhausting having strangers coming and going all day everyday. I just want it to be done!

Outside, some cleaning, then pH rehearsal. What are you doing today?

Michelle

Week Three Already?

2009-08-03T09:53:00.000-07:00

Greetings everyone! Happy Monday!

I must confess that I have been busy looking for a consulting gig...this earning no money thing has me terrified!

Hopefully I'll be able to find something that will do more than just cover bills and also allow time for all of my ventures.

I have been continuing my research regarding the children's book and have just about finished editing it. I should be able to start sending it off to publishers for their consideration soon. Not sure how I'll afford to copyright it or mail it...but I'll cross that bridge when I come to it.

Our bathroom renovation is almost complete! (Good thing too because we have guests coming this weekend!) The glass tile has all been installed and I picked the grout color yesterday. I have to go get paint today and we'll tackle that tomorrow. Also going to the grocery store today...extremely exciting, I know!

Going to Lollapalooza this weekend. Such a shame about MCA from Beastie Boys. Also, a shame that they schedule great bands at the same time (Depeche Mode and Kings of Leon). Picking the old school choice simply because I can probably see KOL again soon, and because those snotty little hipsters have been all cranky about their success. I'd hate to offend them by only knowing songs off of just two, instead of all four, of their albulms. Note to these brothers: Get a sense of humor and a large helping of humble pie. I'm an oldie that can still afford to come out and see you, you ought to embrace that you have a couple of hits that more than just your stringy-haired, skinny-jean wearing, vampire obsessed girlfriends know.

Jon and Kate return tonight. We'll be tuning in to feel better about our lives and relationship and also to see if Maddie finally goes on a murdeous rampage (this is inevitable, that child is a powder keg with a fishbowl of keepsake matchbooks.)

Today I am Baking a Cake

2009-07-29T10:31:00.000-07:00

Because I can. Because it's cheap and fun and I can do that somewhat quietly. And because I never had time to do stuff like that before.

From scratch too people.

I also have to work on some more marketing stuff for an upcoming show I'm in...if we could only agree on a title! It's hard to get started without a TITLE! I really like Leave It, It's Beaver. But we'll see.

Worrying about money after paying all of my bills this morning and watching the account trickle down. Still have a few months before it gets scary...but not use to that!

Wish me luck with the cake. I usually can't get them even and the top layer ends up sliding off and smushing into the cake dome.

Oh - for any better the cable man came yesterday at 1:04 and stayed until 3:45. It was extremely annoying! Then the contractors showed up. It sucks to have people in your house when you don't feel good. Today just contractors and not until later this afternoon.

I must bake now.

Michelle

Week 2 Day 2

2009-07-28T10:44:00.000-07:00

I am a hypocrite.

No doubt about it. I quit my corporate job because I wanted more for myself. So why don't I have an OUNCE of sympathy (or interest) in why T.R. Knight quit Gray's Anatomy (a show I haven't watched since Season 1, mainly due to the ridiculous amount of pouting faces). He left a three-year $14 million contract because he thought his character was not given much of a plot line.

There are times to take your show on the road my friends, and times to take the money and run - back to your trailer. To do a sick amount of online shopping.

Now I keep reminding myself that I left a very well paid position to pursue a life more fulfilling...but, seriously, is it the same? Oh no! It is a little. So I feel like now I'm one of those whiny people. Add "practice pout face" to my list of things to do today.

Okay, next subject. As I sift through "work at home" and "part time writing" opportunities, I continually come across these weird jobs where apparently you're suppose to deposit these huge checks into your bank account and then send them to other people. Okay, so how many alarms go off? First, you of course have to give them your banking info to "deposit" money - which I doubt if any transactions actually proceed in that direction, and then, even if they did, you're laundering money, correct? Perhaps I didn't understand fully grasp all of the concepts on the Sopranos, but I'm pretty much certain that that's not an up and up way of doing business. Has anyone else seen these? I wonder how many desperate people have fallen for this? It's despicable!

Need to rest so I can make to rehearsal tonight - plus the cable man is coming! (Conveniently between 1 and 4 - any betters out there?).

Michelle

Week 2. Guilt in Taking a Sick Day During a Sabbatical

2009-07-27T09:30:00.000-07:00

Hello friends! Hope you are well, I have been nursing some sort of flu for about a week now and finally will be able to get to the doctor tonight (5:45 was his earliest appointment - I must not be the only one!)

This whole thing is a huge adjustment. It's hard to go from being a full time over-extended tiger lady to being on "sabbatical". I'm having a hard time adjusting to the free time and I unfortunately was filling it up too much - just like before and the reason I'm worn out. As usual, my body takes over and makes me sick so I HAVE to take a break, and that is just what happened.

I feel incredibly guilty sitting in my favorite chair inside and with a blanket on me...it seems like only workers should be able to get "sick days". This is a sentiment also expressed (passive aggressively of course) by others in my household. Because I had so much initial support, I didn't realize that this would be difficult, but it is proving to be a bit challenging. There have been several responsibilities that have shifted on the domestic front and everyone is having to adjust.

I apologize that I haven't been writing. I started full steam ahead and I wore myself out! I took a few days to rest but did continue some of the goals I had last week.

On Thursday, since I didn't feel great and couldn't sleep, I was up at 6:45, cleaned the house and took the train downtown to the farmers market and purchased ingredients to make gazpacho. (Which didn't turn out so great). I was able to get so much for just $11.00! Two peppers, globe zucchini, two tomatoes, a box of raspberries and a bouquet of snapdragons.

I also spent a few hours at the gorgeous Harold Washington Library researching grant writing and coping books for children. (The librarians there are very helpful!)

I checked out a few books for kids to help them cope with dying and now think that the voice of my book is both original and appropriate. Kids are a lot smarter than you think.

Friday I wasn't feeling too hot and all I did was run a couple of errands and did some chores.

Saturday and Sunday were lazy days on the beach - trying to rest. Friends from Des Moines came in for a Cubs game. We had a great time and that sort of sent me over the edge - and so looking forward to going to the doctor later.

Hope everything is well with everyone else! Sorry this one is a little boring.

Michelle

Day 3 - Laundry and Writing

2009-07-22T08:36:00.001-07:00

Unload dishwasher. Check.
Sort laundry. Check.
Do three loads of laundry. (In process).
Brew coffee and eat very last homemade cinnamon roll from freezer.

Ah...blog time!

So as you all know, I've left my corporate job to pursue writing, acting, etc. You probably also know that I am hoping to keep my hand in by doing some part time or short term web consulting. This means my resume is posted and that occasionally throughout the day I am contacted by various recruiters for positions that they think I would be a good fit for. Unfortunately, the vast majority of these recruiters think my goal in life should be to sell insurance. (One year at an Agency overseeing a web redesign and launch and apparently, I am an expert insurance salesperson.) Many of these calls are from the same company - just different "team leaders" duking it out for my short term disability selling prowess. They often lead with the fact that they have a particularly popular (annoying?) poultry mascot, and wouldn't I like to be a part of that?

Not really, although I know people who are very happy working for this poultry mascot. They often report on it on their Facebook status. I also know that person is extremely successful, I just wonder what our resumes have in common? Ten years of web design, information architecture, online marketing and content management = your neighborhood broker?

However, I would gladly do a commercial for Allstate. I waited in line for the bathroom at the Ivy with Dennis Haysbert and wow, was he suave! He's about 6'5 and extremely well-groomed. He was very gentlemanly and his booming voice is even more stimulating in person.

Occasionally I run into some really awesome recruiters who understand what my goals are and understand the kind of value I actually have to offer a company. These people are awesome and work very hard to make both their clients and candidates happy. I'd tell you who they are...but I don't want to share them!

Does anyone else get completely bizarre calls for jobs that are in no way on their radar or even in line with their resume?

So along the same lines as yesterday - in a life when your days don't have much structure...you really have to implement a structure in order to be productive.

I have loosely broken out each week days activities and focus:

Monday: Chores (obviously this Monday that sort of fell to the wayside)
Tuesday: Completely devoted to pH. We have our Grand Opening Gala coming up and of course my duties as Grant Writer also mean working on various items for the group. Plus rehearsal and the additional Leadership meeting and my day is pretty much booked up. (www.whatisph.com)
Wednesday: Completely devoted to GayCo, another ensemble I am involved. Today's agenda are that pesky marketing calendar I have been procrastinating about and writing a couple of sketches.
Thursday: Chores again, mostly of the "special project" variety. Things like cleaning out the silverware drawer and organizing the utensils. Also - more of a relaxing day.
Friday: Often a show day - so I tend to lay low, but read a ton of newspapers and web articles to be on top of current events.
Saturday & Sunday: For shows, additional rehearsals and fun only.

FYI: Insurance sales recruiters need not call. Unless it's Dennis Haysbert.

Day 2!

2009-07-21T08:48:00.000-07:00

Hello friends! It is Day 2 and so far my day has been fairly interesting in both domestic and career fronts.

First, my dog decided to not complete a "business" transaction which meant tossing the morning schedule for a butt bath and de-pooping session. Ha! You think it's gross to read about? I had to actually deal with it!

Second, an old boss (quite high up) asked for a little assistance in connecting with someone. Ah, social media - you are such a powerful creature. I was very happy to pass on his name and glad that I could help. It's just funny how one day you're a lowly contractor, the next you can help someone out in (very) high places.

Today's agenda (thrown off a little):

Blog
GayCo Fall Show Marketing Calendar and Brainstorm graphics ideas for show.
Target (yikes - without disposable income - terrifying!!!!!!!!!!!!!)
Sketch Writing (at the beach)
Grant Writing Meeting(?)
pH Rehearsal (Ride bike there so I get some much needed exercise)

Update on yeserday's events:

I had an audition but when I got there and saw the show dates I had 2 conflicts so I didn't end up going in. However, I did run in to one of my old castmates from Rx Rated and he is also focusing on his acting career now. We agreed to set up a time during the day - natch! - to write/talk improv, comedy, etc.

A little advice to anyone else on sabbatical:

1) Structure your day.
2) Do NOT and I mean do NOT turn on the TV for any reason. I just wasted 30 minutes watching some family clear their house of antiques and sell them at auction so that they could buy a big screen TV. They would have been better off keeping the antiques and riding their bikes around town looking for more crap.
3) Procrastination still exists even in la la land. (Crap.) Bite the bullet and do the things you least enjoy first. (Like writing a marketing plan - yuck!)

Even without the absolute dread of going to a job I don't like, it is still hard for me to get up in the morning. I usually stay up until about 1 or so and often can't sleep through the night. But I can't justify sleeping in when I'm not really taking a break from anything.

Also, I find myself fighting some sort of cold/flu thing and I wonder - how does someone with no 9-5 job take a "sick day" without coming off as a sloth?

Now I know why Stephen King still makes himself write 8 hours a day. Well done creepy and imaginative rich guy, well done.

Day 1 - July 20, 2009

2009-07-20T07:12:00.000-07:00

Today is the first day of my self-imposed sabbatical. It may seem crazy to be "taking time off" when so many are being forced out of work, but the rat race was making ME crazy and so here I am...six months of Scraping By money saved to sustain me and a lifetime of unfulfilled dreams and projects to finally work on. It's actually kind of a good time, with so many friends out of work, I have a whole network of "day time" friends to collaborate with on some of my projects! Plus, it's rather gauche to overspend on anything these days...so I'm kind of able to say I'm living "green" or "lean" or simplified...or just poor.

I'm sharing my days on sabbatical with the world - or the one or two friends or family members who feign interest - because I think taking some time off to really think about what is important to you is well, important.

Too often people settle for what their life is...I just refuse to do that. I was bored, I was very unhappy and I was resentful that I wasn't doing what I wanted to be doing. I realize I'm not alone - and that many, many, many people simply cannot just fly by the seat of their pants and quit their day jobs...however this blog isn't about running away from work, it's about running to the work you actually want to do. I don't believe in sitting around eating bonbons...I believe in dedicating the appropriate amount of time and energy to my own personal business endeavors, instead of some horrible conglomerate's business endeavors.

Here's a list of things I'll be working on while on my sabbatical...which I hope to rename something less temporary than "sabbatical" once I find a way to make any money doing some of the following:

1) Edit children's book I wrote nearly 10 years ago and work with neighbor on illustration.

2) Write my one woman show and try to produce it...

3) Write sketches for GayCo show that I will be in this fall.

4) Get an agent.

5) Get in shape.

6) Learn to live with less.

7) Learn to become a gourmet cook with a limited budget.

8) Focus on improv troupe (pH Productions) and make them a lot of money writing kick-ass grants.

9) Sustain my brand as a web strategist by leveraging social media and creating stellar marketing campaigns for the Fall GayCo show and my own show.

10) Take better care of myself and my family.

Day One Snapshot:

Awoke: 7:30
Met husband at the train with dog.
Walked dog, fed dog.
Made coffee.
Started this blog.
Made list of other items to do today:
1. Edit Louisa and the Circle of Hugs(C). [Update: Done! 11:15]
2. Work out (bike ride) [Update: Decided to do Windsor Pilates instead...As Seen on TV! and not out of the DVD box in probably 2 years!]
3. Grocery Store [Update: List, done!]
4. Prep for audition at Second City (update/print resume, find headshots).
5. Audition at Second City.

Hope you might join me on this adventure (which will surely have its ups and downs).