My Failed Year as a Guitar Player

I took guitar lessons for more than a year. I can now play 2 songs: Southern Cross and Jane Says. The latter I already knew how to play before the year of lessons. At the height of my guitar playing career I could play around 4 songs.

I cried when I quit (I don't like to quit anything.) But I was never practicing, and it never came easy to me. How could someone who wanted something so bad not want to do everything it took to get where they wanted to be? Laziness. And a dislike of fingertip callouses. And a lack of accountability (had I been a group either my competitive nature or my fear of being behind would have kicked in and I would have practiced at least enough to be mediocre.)

I've been considering revisiting lessons...the guitar sits on a stand at the foot on my bed staring at me, reminding me of my failure, mocking my shortcomings as a musician.

It frustrates me that music does not come naturally to me at all - I can't read sheet music, can't stay on pitch when I sing, can't hear the difference between scales, can't sustain a note for very long. But I love music, and I really am moved by it, I just wish it was easier to participate in it.

I am going to revisit the guitar...and to start I'm going to take it to be restrung (I may not play it, but I can at least respect the instrument, right?)

I'll let you know what happens after that...

mm

I've Put the Pressure On

So I decided it would be fun to host a "day at the beach" for my theater company...which raises lots of issues, the one most at the forefront of my mind - is the fact that I have elected to wear swimwear in front of these people.

Now, a theater company (especialy this one www.whatispH.com) is very nearly your family. They are some of your best friends in the world, and they typically hold unconditional love and affection for you. However, I am usually fully clothed. On this day, I won't be, and hope to feel just as confident as I do in jeans and a tee shirt.

I have maintained a weight loss (40 lbs) for over a year now...but hit a wall on getting a few areas in check. I needed something to push me harder. And what could be more inspiring than a public reveal of oneself in a bikini?

So for the second summer of my life since I was maybe 14, I am not starting the season freaked out about how awful I look, square one not being too gross...but I would like to actually look good in a swimsuit this year, not just keep people from going "ew".

So over the next several weeks - follow along with me if you like - I've stepped up the work out game adding some sessions from P90X (only the ones where the girls in the sessions don't look like men), and upping my cardio and decreasing my calories.

Here's to a summer of losing the cover ups and feeling confident!

mm

Current Obsession: The Blow's "Hey Boy"

So as I prowl around Pandora and other people's Facebook pages for ideas of new (to me) music (always looking - I guess I get bored fast) I occasionally bump into something I really like and can't stop listening to...until I can't stand it anymore.

Not sure why I'm so completely all or nothing about music, but when I really like a song or a band or a style, I tend to obsess and delve into it so deeply, I almost get mad about other songs trying to sneak space in my subconscious. I also listen only to what I really like, what turns me on so to speak, so I'm either way ahead of the curve or more often, horrifically, pathetically behind it.

Lately, it's this song, Hey Boy, an unassuming cut off a rather otherwise unremarkable album...however I can't stop listening to it. I work out to it. I ride the train to it. I walk around listening to it. I throw it on when I'm in the shower and in a hurry cause I know exactly how long it is (2:46).

If you're a glutton for punishment (it's catchy friends) check it out, it's on Poor Aim: Love Songs (Bonus Track). http://www.myspace.com/theblowus

Quiz Answers: Derby Horse or Indie Rock Band?

Quiz Answers:

Is this a Derby Horse


or a Band?



An Horse - Band (with poor grammar)
Morning Runner (Band)
Pants on Fire (Derby Horse)
Tennis (Band)
Dialled In (Derby Horse)
Moe (Band)
Uncle Mo (Derby Horse)
Archarcharch (Derby Horse)
Electrelane (Band)
Comma to the Top (Derby Horse)
Fences (Band)
Twinspired (Derby Horse)
The Blow (Band)
Derby Kitten (Derby Horse)
Santiva (Derby Horse)

Get your juleps on! My family's recipe:



Take one ice cold julep cup and fill with 2 tbsp sugar, 1 tbsp water and 1 tbsp mint. Muddle until you get a nice paste. Fill glass with crushed ice. Chuck that in the grass somewhere in the infield and fill cup with Bourbon. Drink.

Derby Horse or Indie Rock Band?

A Quiz:

Is this a Derby Horse or a Band?

An Horse
Morning Runner
Pants on Fire
Tennis
Dialled In
Moe
Uncle Mo
Archarcharch
Electrelane
Comma to the Top
Fences
Twinspired
The Blow
Derby Kitten
Santiva

Just thought this year's runners sounded like a pretty cool festival lineup.

That is all.

Reading, Writing, & Arithmatic

Books have taken over my home. Solution: Kendall. Which has taken over my bank account. The ability to purchase a book in one click is genius - and dangerous.

I've recently joined my first book club, which is composed of actual published writers, an educator, a communication specialist, a media attorney...and me. (One of these things is NOT like the other things - and I'm finding my role as court jester fun and fitting.)

The Writing part of this post is this post. And my need to get back to it. I'm afraid to revisit the book I started last summer - fearing it was all just crap and not worth anyone's time including my own. Hoping I might surprise myself when I finally am brave enough to click the file open and reread.

Arithmatic - Tax season, need I say more? And expense reports. And theater company grant proposals and plans. Oddly, this is the part of my life that has been most exciting. I guess number crunching isn't so bad when it's to make dreams come true. Even though it's true "math is hard" and I'd "rather go to the mall." But the mall is online now, so at least I save on gas.

Short post. But hey look, I did it!

We're Listening.

An evolution seems to be underway in my personal Twitterverse - which is composed of the 190 tweeps I have carefully selected to follow (and includes the peeps they follow and RT). It is changing from a ego-centric platform leveraged to "brand" oneself to this warm, kind, gentle, self-depricating, accountable, and conscientious world - that not only pushes messages, but also receives them. This makes me wonder, is this what listening is in 2011?

I am honestly a more aware, informed, and human person for having logged on today and reading (or "listening" to) the tweets of my "tweeps". This community is one in which I feel priviledged to be a part of (as it is "invitation only" in regards to mutual acceptance), and one in which leaders and followers co-exist in the old-fashioned and appropriate "best people rise to the top" manner.

However, I also control this universe. If I feel someone's tweets have become too self serving or perhaps have moved too far in the self-righteous direction, or are just mean-spiritied or unfunny, then I simply "unfollow" (stop listening) them. But all in all - it seems to be popular these days to be sending out messages that help, inspire, and oddly, bring us together in a more human way. Of course, hilarious pithy comments are enjoyed by all - but I am really digging that Twitter provides that and a little something more.

Facebook, although it seems to only be evolving as fast as actual people can, still helps us to listen better. Particularly to ourselves.

Facebook is the mirror reflecting the number and quality of your friends, a personal history of your hair metamorphises, a public account of your triumphs and failures, and a diary to record it all and remind us that we are all too human - and none of it really seems to matter without someone else to hear about it. It's a reflection also of the world we can't control. I mean, Facebook is made up of the people you actually do know. The ones that you chat with in the copy room, perform with on stage, wake up with in the same house, pass gravy to at the Thanksgiving table. These are the people that, like it or not, you can't "unfollow" (or stop listening to), without some unsavory consequences anyway.

But like a rudimentary tin can telephone, reception is only possible when both ends of the string are pulled tight, and an ear is open to hearing. And with more talking - albeit in the form of tweets, status updates, blogs, pings, texts....there is more listening. And that's always a good thing.