Thursday, August 25, 2011

Stuff I Miss - Or TigerMom Free Summers

It was my third request to the neighbors children and "manny" playing immediately outside of my door when I (in a very stern voice - one that sounded exactly like my mother's) opened the door and said, "Fellas, Mr.Taylor is trying to sleep, and I am trying to work. Please keep it down, I would really appreciate it."

A wave of nausea washed over me as I closed the door.

1) Who the fuck is Mr. Taylor?, and
2) Fellas?

It is becoming more and more clear that the proximity to my youth is slipping further and further behind me. I couldn't imagine hanging around inside on a beautiful day when I was the age of those boys (4 and 9 or close to that). I spent every waking minute squirting my sunbathing sister with the hose, watching ants carry things, playing ghost in the graveyard, building blanket forts, swimming, playing badminton and challenging unsuspecting neighbors to games of old-fashioned, horrifically dangerous, lawn darts.

I realize things are different now. Kids (who for sure know more than we did, but who are perhaps not any smarter) participate in different kinds of activities all throughout the summer to stimulate their minds a la Tiger Mommy protocol. Back then, you had from dawn til dusk to entertain yourself however you liked. I also didn't live in a city, I grew up in a "town", but have doubts life would have been much different. There were still creepy guys in vans, but I knew not to talk to anyone in a van - unless it was the Bookmobile driver. Anyway I started thinking about all of the things I did when I was young - and how many of them aren't around anymore. From games that we played, to snacks we loved to clothes we wore. Here's my list of things that I just can't find anywhere...and for anyone who grew up with me, it's a way to remember these things and never forget them.

Old Fashioned Dangerous Lawn Darts.
(Or, why you don't have to tell someone my age something twice. )


Magic Middles Cookies


The Smell of this (couldn't find a picture of the old elixir style bottle though):

A favorite snack:

And all of the fun in the sun that I had with this lady:

-and no - that's not a painted on swimsuit...those are tan lines - which you could make even more obvious by placing Malibu Barbie under a lamp or leave her out in the yard while you go to the park, then the pool, then to the Bookmobile.

Somehow this kept me afloat in the deep end:

At least long enough to yell for my Mom to "watch me! watch me! watch me!".

Now I just blog.

Tuesday, August 2, 2011

Face the Mirror

Look, it's not like I'm trying to say Jennifer Aniston isn't attractive, fit, or youthful looking, but lately I have become so annoyed at her style rut that I'm compelled to post about it.
First, I'll start with the positive!

  1. She's holding up incredibly well. She certainly does not look 40+. Good for her. She's a natural beauty, doesn't seem to have had much work done, and maintains a really amazing figure. A+ there.

  2. It's totally fine that's she's a perennial "single" girl. If we can accept this of George Clooney, we're being sexist if we label her an old maid. I say, hold your head up - and try dating a few "normals". (Your revolving door of B-List boyfriends stinks of Jennifer Love Hewitt.) Own your personal situation a little more - that could be incredibly advantageous for you.

  3. Although I'm not a huge fan, I think that when JA is pushed and stretched her work is good and she really does seem pretty nice. And again, she's completely gorgeous, this is only about fashion and PR.

Okay - so about this rut.

It's a 3-parter.

Part 1 - The Hair.

Here's a selection of images over the last 10 years. Sure, it looks nice - but...come on. It's boring. And it's always hanging in her face. At 42, the coy hiding behind my side swept bangs is a little depressing. Chin up, you're a woman. Try some blunt bangs, a darker tone, a little curl every now and then. Maybe wear it up at an event? Very glamorous and more sophisticated.

Part 2 - The bridesmaid sandals.

Sure a strappy sandal can make an outfit...but so can a chunky platform, and there are other kinds of straps. These all look like Mootsies Tootsies. And that black pair? Dyeables, right? Your dresses are "bare" enough. Try at least covering your feet.

Part 3: The Nails

Sure - we all love a neutral and occasionally need to give our nails a break and rock a natural look... but mix it up occasionally - it's dated, and never red carpet appropriate.

There's such a difference between "signature look" and "rut". The finesse is how you punch it up for the red carpet, special occasions, and incorporate new trends and fresh colors. Just a few things we should all watch out for...

But - it has to be said, if this is the worst a rut can's not so bad!

What are your "I will not stop wearing _________" pieces?

Mine are white tank tops, skinny jeans, platform shoes, and simple gold jewelry.