This is the Crap You Need.

So last week I told you what crap you don't need...this is the crap you do:

1) TiVo or DVR. You are an active, popular, important person with things to do right? Your busy life shouldn't keep you from seeing all of your favorite shows. Maybe you aren't busy, maybe you spend plenty of time at home, but you opted to watch Twilight (again) and will catch up on 30 Rock over the weekend.


2) A Pandora account. Create the radio channels you like and vote thumbs up or down as songs play. It's free - with short ads running about every 5 songs or so, or for a reasonable fee, Pandora One, which is ad free and has a few additional perks. There are other options than Pandora, but I think it does the best job of feeling out my mood and playing just the right songs.

3) Some polarizing figure to admire. Mine is Chris McCandless (AKA Alexander Supertramp). Yes, he may be seen by some as a suicidal idiot full of nonsense and self-importance - or maybe he just wanted to say fuck it all, I'm going outside. I read Into the Wild more than a decade ago, but didn't see the movie until recently and it rekindled my sort of romance with Chris - his courage and bravado to reject the materialistic comforts afforded to him startled me and I admired it then, as I do today. Plus, someone else's failures and successes remind you you're only human, without the carpet burn.

4) Two sounding boards: A wacky creative artist for business dilemmas and a stuffy business type for creative problems. The creative artist is not aware of traditional "solutions" and therefore automatically offers unique and out of the box ideas and opinions. Same is true of the stuffed suit - they will apply business logic and statistics to your creative problem and help you to see through the clutter to the bare bones and hopefully, the heart of the piece. In both scenarios, you will be trying something different and avoiding making the same choices over and over.

5) A signature cocktail. Face it, it's just kind of cool. Plus it helps people to know what to have on hand when you're coming over. I like Presecco (Italian sparkling wine) and sometimes Frambois Lambic (Belgian raspberry beer that is also sparkling).


6) Some piece of clothing that makes any outfit special - and instantly says any ensemble you're wearing is your own. I have a blue pashmina I wear year round and it instantly dresses up anything I'm wearing, keeps me warm, keeps food off my clothes, provides an odor guard on public transportation, and goes with everything.

7) Some cool party trick or entertaining flair. Mine is an endless capacity to connect celebrities a la Six Degrees of Kevin Bacon, and making a kick-ass ice cream bomb dessert - which I always unmold in front of an audience.
Patty Duke to Kevin Bacon:
1. Patty Duke was in The Miracle Worker with Anne Bancroft
2. Anne Bancroft was in Keeping the Faith with Edward Norton.
3. Edward Norton was in Fight Club with Brad Pitt.
4. Brad Pitt was in Sleepers with *Kevin Bacon
or Patty Duke to Kevin Bacon:
1. Patty Duke was in The Miracle Worker with Anne Bancroft
2. Anne Bancroft was in The Graduate with Dustin Hoffman
3. Dustin Hoffman and Kevin Bacon were both in Sleepers.
or Patty Duke to Kevin Bacon:
1. Patty Duke was in Prelude to a Kiss with Alec Baldwin
2. Alec Baldwin was in She's Having a Baby with Kevin Bacon.
As for the ice cream bomb, you'll just have to hope for an invite.

8) Some awful work disaster that happened in the past by which to compare every other work disaster. "This is no worse than X...and I survived that" or "this isn't nearly as bad as X, I should just move forward". Or this is way worse than X, what did I do then that might help me now?


9) A sense of humor. And forgiveness for yourself when you think something is really funny, but it is only funny to you.


10) A good pair of earbuds/headphones to drown out everyone else. You're your own best company.

This Year's Emmys - Still nothing interesting comes to mind.

So it's been a few days since the Emmy's aired and to be honest I have been brainstorming as many ideas as possible to give some sort of opinion on the whole thing and all I can come up with is that I have none.

Sure, NPH was good, but didn't meet my high expectations. Kristin Chenowith was incredibly annoying regardless of the sincerity of her excitement. Tina Fey looked beautiful in black. Again (yawn). Jessica Lange should lay off the Botox. And the Moet. Seth McFarlane's date looked like a runner up in the Miss Hawaiian Tropic contest (Myrtle Beach). A telling choice that shows it's not just his humor (which I love!) perpetually stuck in seventh grade. The whole night was so boring that in fact the most shocking moment to me, was laughing at Jimmy Fallon. That short sketch was funny - and I don't always enjoy him.

The whole thing felt a bit like watching junior varsity football. Which is always what television is to the movies. During the reign of the Sopranos, television nearly surpassed movies in coolness (nearly). HBO and other cable networks were pushing some seriously edgy material and the public ate it up like hotcakes. Now, the edgy thing is overdone, and the shock value has faded. This year's Emmys reflected that dullness. Not to mention that Leno taking on the 5 night a week spot historically dedicated to "appointment television" drama series, the NBC has all but flown the white flag.

Hulu, YouTube, TiVo, OnDemand - they're all taking share away from the traditional networks. And the big advertisers did not get the memo 5 years ago to go out and hire a bunch of social media marketers to get in the game early and are now scrambling to make their case online, while still sinking megabucks into tv ads that aren't being seen.

But the biggest reason the networks are in trouble is that they're putting out crap - and with other choices people aren't forced to watch. Lots of people are creating their own entertainment and spending their free time marketing themselves...not watching whatever is put in front of them. The successful shows found that by being niche, they can pull socially savvy audiences. The stuff I like, Lost, Mad Men, 30 Rock, The Office, pull so-so ratings but have very vocal fan bases. I've never seen one episode of Two and Half Men. Apparently that pulls unbelievable numbers, but I've never seen anyone put anything on their Facebook page about it.

Today's consumer is very self-reliant. We are very "i" focused. We can customize everything we use in our daily life to compliment whatever personal interests we have. There are very few things we are stuck with listening to or watching. We have Sirius radio in the car so we can listen to all 80's Alternative all the time and never know what new music we're suppose to be downloading. We never set foot in a bookstore anymore because we can buy new books for $9.99 and read them on our Kindles. We can block spam, banner ads and popups, and if we don't, they're so cleverly selected for us based on the other stuff we have online that they actually present the one and only item we would ever need or want to buy.


Your new spokesmen?
I can think of only two places left in the world where media decisions are limited and that is in doctor's offices and hospitals where you cannot use your iPhone to watch whatever you like because "cell phone use is prohibited". So best of luck to the advertisers in Good Housekeeping, Better Homes and Gardens and Highlights for Children magazines. You have the burden of carrying the entire weight of the survival of traditional media on your shoulders. Here's a couple of tips for you. The pull out postcards still don't work and free perfume and makeup samples do!

Your product here???