Thursday, January 7, 2010

It's the End of the World...Where's Your Sterno?

Coming to you from Starbucks again. Big fat snowflakes falling outside. Productivity at a high today considering I'm completely and utterly sick and also have hurt my back. But - luckily it's the kind of back injury that only hurts when I sit or lay down, or cough, or laugh, or breathe too deeply - so you know, nothing to worry about!
The view of the snowfall outside and my list of things to do is helping me to not think about my back - and the hilariously goofy conversations happening behind me at the counter by the 22-year old worker and his wiser, more life-experienced manager, (23 1/2) are keeping me entertained.
I have a curious likeness for the younger one because his tangled coal black hair and modest size remind me of Dave Bielanko from Marah. He also is wearing his Starbucks hat askew on his head, but this may very well be because he's so small, and it simply doesn't fit him. Or he may be a douchebag, but I'm giving him the benefit of the doubt today.
Today seems light and serene compared to the restlessness and weird dreams of last night. Likely brought on by my insistence in watching a program called "Apocolype Man" on the History Channel. This ex-marine guy shows you all these survival tips for when it's the end of the world - like how to break into a hospital and generate power to charge the car battery you will surely find at an abandoned gas station and how to effortlessly swing from a tire iron and rope to cross a bridge into a city to find supplies.
Yikes. I'm not gonna make it in an apocolypse.
First, even with my workouts (2-5 pound weights!) I don't think I'd be able to carry a car battery around on my back for very long before chucking it for something more immediately my makeup bag. Second, I don't think I would be able to climb to the top of a building to find rainwater to drink (which I will sterilize using a can of Sterno I'll easily find in an abandoned house) because I'm really afraid of heights.
So as this guy is doing all these incredible things and talking about his experiences in POW training I resign myself to the fact that I will not make it under these conditions. Then the program ends and I'm not feeling too bad because I see a commercial for a program about Nostradamus and it says the world will probably end in 2060 and I do the math and realize I'll probably be too old to care and will go down like that old couple in Titanic. There's some dignity in that. But the new show coming on declares that the end of the world is actually Dec. 21st, 2012. Oh. That's coming up soon. I mentally start a list - tire iron, rope, book on how to tie knots, sterno, canned food, water, make friends with car thief to learn how to hotwire a car, up weights to 5-7 pounds, etc. What's really scary is how much of history is pointing to either of these dates actually being real days to worry about. I won't get into that here - I haven't really read about the subject - only watched some shows and did see 2012 (add "learn to fly plane" to list) but I just worry that there might actually be something to this...and I wonder how worth it would it be to try and survive. But then a couple of homeless people walk by me and my back stiffens. I covertly slide my purse under my foot, closing myself off and creating an aura of invisibility around myself and realize maybe I have just a little more fight than flight than I realized.


  1. 一個人的際遇在第一次總是最深刻的,有時候甚至會讓人的心變成永遠的絕緣。.........................