My Officemate is Kind of a D.B.

So there is this dude I work with.

That's him. We have to share an office. As you can see he has some hygiene issues. He's clean, but seriously, has the guy ever SEEN a comb? He takes horrible phone messages too. You should see the shit he writes. He is always happy to share my lunch with me, but he never brings anything. He never refills the paper in the copier or makes coffee. He's kind of an asshole.

This is after I told him he needed to go outside to do his business. I guess he was mad.

Good thing I don't like to keep Christmas themed stuffed animals after the holidays. Not sure what I could do anyway. He doesn't care when he gets in trouble. What a douche.

I was busy trying to drum up business all day.

He just stared at me.

You should have seen how drunk he got at our company holiday party. That's our IT guy trying to talk him down.

Dude did he get sick on the couch? Gross.

He's so dumb. This is what he considers "Business Casual."

He kept saying it was "BEES"niss Casual.

I hate him.

But I'm stuck with him. I guess it could be worse...

Who is the worst person you ever had to share workspace with?

Jeans with "Stretch" Should Come with a Warning

Stretching is a good thing. Good when you first wake up. Good to keep your joints healthy and loose. Good on Thanksgiving. Good when you first zip up jeans from the dryer.

However, the goodness gets, ahem, stretched thin, when after wearing jeans for about half an hour they are nearly two sizes larger than when they first went on.

Case in point. Bought some jeans. Pulled them on the first time, fitted and no muffin top - choice! Unfortunately, every five minutes I felt a little "give" until finally I was pulling them up. They became SO stretched out they feel like sweat pants. So I slept in them.

Look at that stretch!!!

Never thought I'd be one of those people looking for "skinny" jeans without any stretch, but I think I might. Denim stretches eventually anyway...but this is ridiculous. You think it's some ploy by the manufacturer to trick people into thinking that they are smaller than they really are? According to this I am a child's medium.

This guy needs a little more stretch in his pants...but he likes to stretch. You can watch him.

Have a good day, and may your pants only give out when you're ready.

Wish I Could Just...

pick up a guitar and wail.
make a funny face that isn't ugly.
drive through the snow without fear of hitting anything.
eat without guilt or regret.
stop worrying about money.
fast forward to the fall when I'll be in Germany and London.
rewind 10 years and redo everything with more bravado, that inlcudes mistakes.
believe that people are generally good, and not manipulative or selfish.
take some of the pain and discomfort my family has known and carry it around a while.
listen to great music all day and not be jealous.
be really honest with everyone, myself included.
stop wondering "what if"...that time has passed.
appreciate what I do have.
realize I might be better off the way I am.

Weight Plateau

I was dropping it like it was hot! But then I stopped. Goal is about 10-15 lbs away and I've hit a brick wall.

Trying to shake up the work out - elliptical not exactly getting boring, still having fun, but not seeing the results like I was before - and not burning up the calories the way it use to. I stay on for a long time (sometimes 2 hours - 4 sessions) to burn the # of calories I want.

Today I'm trying: Eating more calories (to kick up metabolism) and YBB + Elliptical.


Eating healthy and exercising is very rewarding - wish I had always felt this way...then it wouldn't be as hard to get to where I would like to be. But being healthy is giving me a lot more confidence, especially when I am performing - and with improv you never know where you or your body are going to end up.

One thing that is really motiviating is working out to really great music. What songs pump you up?

Some of my current faves:


Listen to my fave Pandora station if you like.

Michelle

Show Time!

Getting back in the improv saddle tonight! I had about 3 weeks off and I'm feeling a little rusty - which usually can work in my favor. I might able to parlay this nervous energy and excitement I have to get back on stage with my fellow pHers into some fun tonight.

I have several pre-show, show day rituals.

1) Eat light - usually a dinner type lunch then no dinner ("Always go on stage hungry." - Sally Anderson)
2) Work out. Helps me to feel confident about my body. In a show called pHetish, you never know what you'll end up doing.
3) Listen to a special mix.
4) Crossword puzzle. You'll never believe how often this helps to pull random crap out of thin air.
5) Leave early to get some "people" time. Helps to create new characters, ideas.

Ah. So come see what all of this amounts to!

Tonight:

pHRENZY - 8 PM StudioBe 3110 Sheffield (Rated PG)
pHETISH - 12 AM StudioBe 3110 Sheffiled (Rated R)

All shows BYOB. www.whatisph.com

Waiting Game

As a consultant and freelance writer I spend a lot of time waiting for comments.
I work quickly, then wait. Work quickly then wait. Work then wait.

Wait.

Wait.

Bleep! Email!Bummer. It's from "notification+ohrcvrle@facebookmail.com".

Wait.

Lunch.

Wait.

Blog.

Wait.

Perhaps they'll be juicy comments with lots of nuance - something for me to really chew on. Maybe they will just be a couple of corrections. Maybe they will just say, "go live". Don't know yet. All I can do is wait.

Hey Politicians! Stop Cutting Down Trees

It's election time - this is NOT a political post by the way - and I'm wondering...what notes were these guys taking when Barack Obama (like him or not) demonstrated the incredibly effective (reach millions, seems like 1:1) and efficient (CHEAP and easy) use of social media to get out communications?

Everyday our mailbox is completely stuffed with full color, card stock grade direct mail pieces from dueling politicians. NONE of which are ever read in our household. *The picture above is only from 2-3 days.

Here's why:
1) I assume you're out of touch if you think direct mail or the phone is how to reach me.

2) We are green - and your full color brochure on heavy card stock is a display of irresponsible use of resources and money, not to mention very out of date.

And here's another picture with a full size one subject notebook to give you perspective on the LARGE size of these pieces.

And we get double the mailings and phone calls- one of us is a registered Republican, the other a Registered Democrat, so we're hit twice as hard.

Also, understand that this stuff actually impacts who people choose.

Social Media is the same as you handing me that banana by the train Alderman Moore, only less creepy. We can "have a conversation" only I don't feel ambushed, free breakfast or not, on my way to work. Now, politicians are ambushing our phone lines and our poor little mailbox - which is really only used for sending and receiving thoughtful cards and thank you notes.

I know you won't see this, but if you do, please, try some online campaigning. Save a tree!

And just FYI, here is a list of all of the politicians who sent this stuff and the number of pieces:
Worst Offender - Heather Stean(D) - State Senator Race(4 pieces - 2 of each) Largest format.
Bridget Gainer(?) - Commissioner Race (1) Large format.
Dan Hynes(D)- Governor Race (1)
Yehuda Lebovits(D) 9th Judicial Subcircuit Judge Race 1 - Heaviest card stock.
Mark Kirk(R) - Senate Race (1)
Mariyana T. Spyropoulos(?) Commissioner Race (1) IRONY AWARD, her mailer talks all about her dedication to providing clean water, conservation and FOREST PRESERVATION.
Todd Connor(D)Metropolitan Water Reclamation District (1) Another IRONY AWARD "He's protected our environment while protecting our country."
Stella Black(D)Metropolitan Water Reclamation District (1) Smallest format mailer received.

Michelle